Yesterday was the first anniversary of my cousin's death. A tragic accident at only 39 years old, he was taken far too young.
Growing up, we spent a lot of time together. We had joint birthday parties, like the one pictured above which was my 6th and his 4th at my house in Brighton. Mostly we enjoyed school holidays at my grandparent's farm. He along with his brother, our other cousin, and I went on many an adventure across the fields and into the woods that made up my Grandparent's Homestead. My childhood was a fortunate one, filled with love, nurture, and adventures. Traveling across the globe in my teens and learning about different cultures and customs along the way. As the years passed, we saw each other less and less yet somehow remained close. We shared the same birthday and this year was a little strange without our cordial exchange of WhatsApp messages, celebrating another year around the sun. Today I had a conversation with his brother about life one year on. He and his brother's widow and kids drove to Folkstone to celebrate the life of a man who lived it to the max. it was a time for them to reflect and remember a beautiful man.
Why don't we call it a "Life List" instead of a "Bucket List"?
Well, actually I do. I know it is a bit strange to start a post about celebrating life talking about death but ultimately it is this attachment to the immortal and non-acceptance of mortality that keeps us from enjoying life for what it is. Holding us back from truly living in the moment and experiencing as much as possible. It is only when we are older or given a diagnosis that tells us we only have a few however many days, weeks, months left, that we live life with A "bucket list" of all these things we want to do before we die.
So in the last year or so, following the family struggles of 2019, since the split from my partner, our move back to the UK, and the death of my cousin I decided that I would start living life as though every day was my last.
The above list is a screenshot from my phone. It is there in my notes on my home screen giving me a gentle reminder. These are the things I want to achieve in my lifetime. I think I want to learn to drive when electric cars are affordable and commonplace. The reason I want to learn basic plumbing is that my cousin was a plumber by trade. When we lived offgrid I turned to him for advice about a whole array of water-related problems and decided that in his honor, and for the sake of my future plans to return to my land it is a necessary skill to learn.
The beauty with this list is that there is no time scale and I can delve in and out of each target (except maybe the traveling lol) when I feel like it. But for now, the most important aspect of my life is my children.
Becoming a parent is a celebration of life.
My Children Are Not Mine, They Don't Belong To Me, But They Are The Miracle of My Creation.
The gift of being able to grow another human being in my body brought a whole new perspective on the beauty of life. From the first flutters to the kicks and the pain of childbirth. The miracle of my body as a vessel that can sustain life and nurture it by providing food, comfort, and warmth. The reminders on my body and signs that I have carried 4 beautiful humans into this world. Each day I have the honor to watch them grow and develop. Every day I see the miracle of life unfold in front of my eyes and I am in awe of these tiny (and not so tiny anymore) humans who cohabit with me. Even my eldest who is entering adulthood this year, the tender age of 21. This will be a pivotal transition in her life and seeing how far she has come from the trauma she suffered as a child makes my heart dance with happiness.
On the evening that my dad called to say my cousin was taken off life support, I calmly asked my boys to respect my space.
"Boys my cousin has just died, mommy is going to cry a lot for the next few hours. I need to let the sadness pass and remember the good times that I had with him."
"But what are you crying mommy?" my youngest asked.
"Because I feel sad knowing that my cousin was young and that I won't see him again in this life", I replied.
They gave me heaps of cuddles and we all had a little cry, then they both went to bed and allowed me the space to process my grief. Children are more accepting of grief than we adults. Their ability to live in the present moment seems to be an important factor in this. They don't dwell on past events or mourn for them. They are sparked and ignited by what fuels them in that moment. A burning fire of passion and inquisitiveness of the world around them.
Connections To Community and To Nature
Sunday impromptu 'rehearsals' at the bandstand with 
, 
and 
and some lovely jazz musicians.
, and and some lovely jazz musicians. When I first moved back here, it was a little hard to find my tribe, but thanks to this crazy bunch of beautiful, like-minded souls I am starting to feel at home. Music is my way of expressing my love of life and all the intricacies that go along with it. To join in with others makes it all the more special. We come here most Sundays to spread a little cheer and celebrate life. To uplift others' spirits with random jazz numbers and songs from across the decades. It is our peaceful protest against the lockdowns. We come together and enjoy human interaction. We celebrate life.
Life is more than just the existence of something. It is a cycle of sparks, growth, existence, reproduction, and death. Nature teaches us that in both the micro and the macro. Each organism showcases this cycle and celebrates its life cycle in a way that allows the evolution of its species. To make the most out of its existence to allow their future generations to be even better. We humans could sure pay attention to this and this is why it is so important to be connected to nature. To understand that we are designed to provide the foundations so that the generations after us, our children will be better versions of us and theirs will evolve to be better versions of them.
I leave you with this beautiful song that sums up the beauty and the celebration of life perfectly...
"Blessed we are
to dance on this ground,
The rhythm of saints to carry the sound.
We hold a prayer for the earth,(for all life)
for the ones yet to come,
May you walk in beauty and remember your song.
Remember why you came here,
Remember your life is sacred."~ Peia
This post is my response to the Abundance Tribe Bi-weekly Question which asks,
"What Are The Ways, In Which You Choose To Celebrate Life!"
CommunityIIDiscord
