I wrote this post following a recurring interest that came up in in-depth conversations I had with single men (and single women) looking for a relationship for themselves. I believe that its content is also relevant to married people and/or those who are already in a relationship.
The basic idea I want to make is that in a relationship you get what you need and not what you want.
How does the process work?
You go on a date, get organized, make yourself pretty, maybe get a little excited, get to the place you set on the scheduled time, your date arrives and from now on the meeting develops under the illusion of both of you that you have control over what happens. But you ignore another presence that is with you in the meeting, with both of you.
Everyone who walks the path of personal growth - and in this era (almost) everyone is like that, consciously or not - is accompanied by a private, personal consciousness, which is constantly accompanies the personality. The function of this consciousness, called the 'inner self', is to make sure that the human being does not deviate from the same personal path that guarantees personal growth. Every action and outcome are examined in light of this goal, so at the end of the date you may both think, "Wow, that's great, this is my one", while that 'inner me' who is smart and fortune-telling knows that a relationship between you two will be a distraction in your spiritual path. Hence, that inner self will prevent that relationship from being created.
Did it ever occur to you that you were sure that something was going to happen, that there was no reasonable event that would prevent it, and then suddenly something did happen, something sudden and unexplained, that destroyed all the plans you had made? Well, this is the effect of the 'inner self', the wise master within you.
You want something with all your might, you use all your 'summoning reality' powers, you practice, meditate, focus, summon, act according to all the rules in the book, at first reality responds to you in a wonderful way, you think 'here, I also create reality properly' and 'I finally have what I have alaways wanted', and then the same inner master in you pops up and whispers: "Wait, wait, not so fast. It's true that you deserve a loving relationship as you dream of, but before that there are some things you have to go through, there is something more important'.
And so we see in this era we live many people who fail to create a meaningful long-term relationship, or those who are in an increasingly shaky relationship that no longer serves the great plan of their lives (so-called 'value fulfillment').
The ideal situation - which comes eventually - is that the need of the master within you fits in with the desire of your personality. Then you live in peace with your relationships (this is already a topic that requires a separate post, one day).
Okay, practically, what to do?
- Do not scold yourself for not having a relationship.
- Understand that you are in the process of your 'value fulfillment', and in this process you can not allow distractions.
- Meet people who are in the same situation as you and connect with them for relationships that have no agenda of time and content.
- Do not judge yourself if what feels right to you now is to be alone, only with yourself.
- Do not judge yourself if what feels right to you right now is a sexual relationship with another person and nothing more.
- Be patient. One of the qualities that a master is noticeable in is patience.
In the Pic: This is also a way to summon a relationship (Credit: Sharon Kaniel).
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