Thank you so much to the organizers of Abundance.Tribe's BiWeekly Question - What's The Hardest Truth You Have Learned!
Immediately I came across the topic my thoughts hit back directly into memories of how it all happened and the lesson I learned..

We don't easily forget what gave us tough time to handle right, most especially when it comes with lessons for us to learn.
I have fallen victim of my circumstances before, but no more now because I have vow to walk with the truth I have learned.

I use to live a life of pleasing my friends and people around me not even minding the repercussions on me. I have a kind of soft mind that made people toy me around so much as if I could never make decisions for myself. Well, it is true I've proven to be so emotionally weak inside me until I found out the hardest truth of being myself no matter where life drives me to.

Brief highlight of what happened that made me learned lessons.

I had a little misunderstanding with my fiance all of a sudden she wasn't ready for the sincere relationship again, all she wanted was a kind of double-dating life, she wants to go worldly.
She thought sticking around to one man isn't worth doing.
I picked up one faithful day to settle the whole drama because I became tired of the attitudes she's been putting up on me and needed to put an end to it.

Meanwhile Hannah my friend both in school and at home began showing up some unusual care and attentions but I never had feelings for her, even when me and my girlfriend were having little challenges I wasn't ready to key into what Hannah wants.

A snapshot together with Hannah my friend

That faithful day I fixed to discuss and settle things out with my girlfriend Blessing was the day Hannah choose to pay me a surprise visit in my house.
I guessed you will be sensing the picture of what will happen in this clash that day but the truth of the matter was that I was at eased and calmed because I knew myself I didn't ask Hannah out and there's nothing to panic about because I owe Hannah no explanation to as why I was together with Blessing my girlfriend in my house.
Hannah, on entrance to my house saw me seating together with Blessing,
I could notice the incomfortability in Hannah but I was so calmed so as not to create a different picture of the whole event in my girlfriend's mind.
Hannah didn't stayed long and wanted to live I offered to see her off she told me not to border.
I told Blessing who Hannah was and explained to her why Hannah acted that uncomfortable before going.

A snapshot together with Blessing my fiance

To cut the long story short I brought up the topic, I asked Blessing if she really loves me and ready for a true and sincere relationship to my greatest surprise she said "she doesn't know" that was what came out of her mouth, I was so disturbed, I knew Blessing wasn't ready for me again because what she said looks like she doesn't want me again.
After taking her home, I came back home and began to think

snapshot together with Blessing

Hannah is in deeply in love with me but I have thrown all my feelings and attention on Blessing of which she's not even ready for me.

WHERE IT STARTED

I then made up my mind to break up with Blessing and then stay away from Hannah because I will be wrong to go back and ask Hannah out after telling Blessing where just friends with Hannah beside I never had any feelings for her.
I did broke up with Blessing and was ready to tell Hannah to give ourselves distance because I am not comfortable with how close we getting.

My friends caused me this huge problem they all went against me quitting Hannah, that she loves me more than Blessing so I should go with Hannah since I have quit Blessing I insisted they insisted too, I totally became a confused man I don't love Hannah it's Blessing I love and I have broke up with her, why would they want me to ask Hannah out when I don't love her?
They persuaded me, they told me I shouldn't worry I will gradually fall in love with Hannah I thought it was true, I followed my friends advice because I wanted to please them.
I asked Hannah out and from the beginning of the relationship it looked as if it was actually working out as planned.
At some point it looked as if the whole love was coming profusely from her because nothing changed in me, I tried my best to love Hannah but all I could still see was Blessing. To some point Hannah became a stuff of pity to me, I was treating her very bad, I couldn't help, I wanted to go but was pitying Hannah how she will feel, Love now became pity because that was the only thing keeping me to her.
My friends failed me, but they didn't, I failed myself I didn't know what I wanted and they gave me what they wanted I should be able to stand on my no but I didn't and head towards the wrong.
Hannah wasn't getting what she wanted she tried but all attempt yield no results.
I wanted a breakup but was pitying her and still not treating her fine it was huge on me and the whole stuff was turning me into monster towards Hannah, I had a rethink, immediately I built up something in me, I SHOULD NOT SAY YES WHEN I WANT TO SAY NO AND I SHOULD NOT SAY NO WHEN YES IS WHAT I WANT TO SAY.
I picked up the courage and opened up to Hannah I told her I have tried giving her all the love and attention she deserves but it isn't working that's how far I can go now, she should look for someone that will love her because she deserves to be loved.
Immediately I quit Hannah I felt a very strong relief and that was when I knew I have grown up in mind and could decide things that will work best for my own self.

My kind advice to my readers out there.

Please no body or nothing should in anyway make you do what you don't want to do for whatsoever reason because the latter end will always not be what you'll expect.
Don't go pleasing people and hurting yourself you ain't worth that so YOU SHOULD NOT SAY YES WHEN U WANT TO SAY NO AND DON'T SAY NO WHEN YOU WANT TO SAY YES.
Thank you for reading through..

All contents are mine unless otherwise, pictures snapped with smartphone