I didn’t post anything yesterday as it was Winter Solstice.
I didn’t do anything specific for my introduction process but I took part in a two-hour Winter Solstice Celebration that was amazing and brought so much to me in regard to my work on this spirit action. There was meditation, fire gazing, journaling, restorative yoga and a Yoga Nidra.
In the meditation for the celebration, we were asked to look back on where we were at this time last year and to reflect on where we are now. We had sharing time with another person present at the celebration and it was Magical.
It was surprisingly easy for me to see, acknowledge and honor how much I’ve accomplished in one year, how many lives I’ve touched, loved and managed, the hard times I’ve moved through and learned from, how I’ve actually stood up for myself and leaned into who I am in a truly authentic way, how I’ve rounded out my edges and created more ease even in tighter situations, how I’ve learned to relax and rest when I need it. I was able to easily witness the journey I took in the last year.
I always thought that 2023 would be the year I broke out into something phenomenal and abundant, the year I would finally feel successful and have it reflected in my financial situations and emotional balance, the year I would feel my healing settle deep into my bones … but yesterday I realized 2023 was a preparation year, one that was filling in the gaps that I’ve been struggling with, gaps that have kept me limited. It’s been a year of developing trust and of continued healing and creating healing patterns that support me. It’s been a year of finding out where all of me intersects and shines bright. And I’m so glad I had this preparation year. And I’m so proud of myself to be where I am right now.
We also looked forward to a year from now and I absolutely felt the hope and abundance and creativity and healing and community and greatness that’s waiting. This is exciting!
So I thought I’d share just a small bit of what I journaled in the celebration and some of the questions to ponder in case anyone else wants to answer them for themselves
(These are juts a few of the questions from the journaling session)
What do I hold most sacred?
What new life is stirring in me?
What is calling my attention?
This was a small piece of my free form writing:
She spoke with great need to share
Opened her voice and moved
Her heart a home, never to lose.
Instead she finds the deepest mother ancestor root,
unfiltered inside of her divine womb
A place she always had, but couldn’t see it yet
She’s a warrior mama blessing the world
Her story stepping into it’s own
With balance and grace and always time
For family and friends
And laughter and rest
For she is abundant with no need to be less
She is love
She is knowing
She is beauty
She is me
Be welcomed.
Today I spent a long time in silence with my Spirit Action. I grounded my chakras, I journeyed and meditated, I painted and sketched, I sat with my thoughts and I wrote.
My day started with a visit from my Dad in my dreams, I just remember him showing me his hands, and I looked at them closely and held them. I could feel his hand in mine when I woke up. That’s all I remember.
When I drove past the pond by my house I noticed two white swans swimming together, beautiful and regal. They haven’t been in the pond in over a year and a half. It had me crying.
I’ve been missing my parents so much this week, I suppose it’s the holidays coming up, the ending of a year and the beginning of a new year without them. This is something that’s been coloring my days and much of my writing today reflected that:
~I listed all the ways they live on in me and the kids.
~I wrote about how time is moving so fast and I’m afraid I’ll lose their faces in my mind one day, like their expressions get blurrier each time I call them up.
~I wrote about the way both my parents held space for the simplicity of nature and how they gave that to me.
~I wrote about the patience they had for me and how I’m learning to cultivate that for myself now
After I wrote all of this, my youngest daughter told me she found the video of my Dad talking on the iPad and how it felt so good to hear his voice again. She had missed him.
He’s definitely hanging around <3
After writing I spent some time with my art supplies with the words ‘Who am I?’ lingering in my heart.
These are the images of what came out today
Keeping with the journey!
LOVE.
Jocelyn b.
