Do you come to a point where you questions God's existence? Are there times you ask yourself if God's exist, why this happen? By the way, I posted a picture instead of video cause there's error and I cannot upload video.
Today I will be tackling moments where I lost myself and came to a point that I don't believe in Him anymore. Please don't judge me, I am just a human being not perfect but striving hard to be better.
I am Christian and a great believer of God. I go to church every Sunday and do things according to His will. I always pray for guidance, protection, blessings and offer myself to Him. There are times I commit a sin then ask for forgiveness but everyday I do my best to be a good stewards and a good example of what Christian individual is supposed to act. I also pray for the goodness of everybody and it includes the safety and good health of my beloved mother. I told God to protect my mom for I love her the most and probably I can't lived without her. I was a certified mama's girl before but then God tested my faith. Last 2018, my mother got ill. She was diagnosed with Laryngeal cancer stage 3B but hopeful. I knew I had in the most difficult part of my life. Seeing her in pain and agony killed me. I was dead inside but this time I never lose hope. I told the doctor, there is God and miracles were going to happen. I even told the doctor not to mention how long will she lived and I knew literally God was going to heal her. This time I prayed the hardest and told God to make her better and to get rid all her illness. My faith this time was very strong. I never stop going to church, never ask Him why and never surrender until the worst scenarios came. After almost 4 years of battling cancer, my mom died. I had so many questions and it includes if God really exists why this happen to me. Why he hurt me so much? Why my mom? Why us? We needed her the most because my siblings were still very young and she was our life and inspiration. After that worst part of my life, I stopped going to church, I never prayed anymore and almost lost my way and my siblings too. I received so many advices to still believe and honor God despite of everything but I didn't listen. I carried the burden in my heart for a long time. After all the frustrations, I never expect things to get better. I dreamed about my mom, wearing a white dress with a very happy face watching us. I was in relieved and slowly overcoming myself. I convince myself to see the bright side of everything and I also read Bible quotations in social media that really help me a lot in going back to Him. I listen to gospel songs and I can feel the transition of my heart. I am at my best. I try to see on the other side and tell myself that I am not the owner of my mother's life and everything here on earth is borrowed from above.
Despite of all the happenings in my life, God exists. I can prove and I can tell. I want to convince all to stay with God even in the strongest storms. For I know, faith can move mountains. Miracles happen mysteriously. Keep praying, pray hard, the harder, the hardest. If you go through difficult times of yours just try to see His goodness and everything will be okey.
Now I'm back to Him not perfect but doing my best to serve Him the way he wants. To God, please continue to bless us and to those who are reading this I hope you can get a lesson.
GOD EXISTS, I AM A LIVING PROOF TO THAT.
I'm a little bit emotional while doing this and I thanked God for the courage to share.
