Try to recall when was the last time you heard the statement "women's responsibilities to men"? Does it not sound almost scandalous? However, we are incessantly discussing what men should do for women. This inequality permeates our whole society, and we need to address it.
From their early years, boys are brought up with the knowledge of their duties as men toward women. They are taught the concepts of being gentlemen, breadwinners, and protectors. "Don't hit girls." "Ladies first." "Be a man and take care of her." The messages start when they are young and never cease. Society imprints these characters into the mind of every young man.
Reverse the roles, however, and all of a sudden everyone squirms. Who educates young women on their responsibilities to men? And what are their responsibilities, for that matter? These days, even posing these questions makes you backwards or misogynistic.
Such silence is a destructive imbalance. Men are still expected to follow the traditional roles - be strong, provide, protect, and sacrifice. They are required to be vulnerable at the same time strong, sensitive at the same time tough, successful at the same time humble. They have to do the impossible without getting much in return.
Consider traditional arrangements. The sacrifices that men made were balanced by clear benefits: loyalty, support, appreciation, and respect. Women had defined roles that complemented men's contributions. This was not an issue of superiority, it was an issue of balance.
Men today are presented with a confusing situation. They're informed that they no longer need women for their conventional support functions. Contemporary men are able to cook, clean, and take care of themselves. Nevertheless, society continues to expect them to play their old protective and providing functions. One wonders: what is the role of the contemporary woman in this picture?
The silence on the role of women has made a generation of men not know what to expect from relationships. They perform their role but end up being criticized instead of being appreciated. Their masculine nature, which used to be admired, is now labeled as problematic.
Even churches that were once the main source of gender role teachings have changed. Many now distribute a less strict version of masculinity which puts men in a state of doubt whether to trust their inner self and God-given roles or not.
Such a discrepancy remains unresolved by dating, marriage, and society in general. Men who are continually told to give even at the expense of their own needs will only end up with harsh feelings and tangled thoughts. In this way, young men will constantly find themselves wondering what their duties are in an earth that is always demanding everything from them, yet, at the same time, it is not offering them a lot of clarity on what they will get in exchange.
The answer is not to go back in time, to the way things used to be. Rather, the truth talk about reciprocal responsibilities is what we really need. What can men reasonably expect in return if they are going to be the protectors and providers? And if women wish for men to be strong and capable, what are the ways they too could help nurture and develop those traits?
On the other hand, society cannot continue in such a one-way fashion discussion forever. Nature has a way of equalizing the equation. If no one teaches women their obligations to men, something else will come to fill the void - something not so good for everybody.
Speaking these uncomfortable truths requires courage and is the path forward. We should keep in mind that healthy relationships require that both parties set clear expectations. Men's duties towards women are clearly outlined and monitored. The time has come to define and teach women their duties towards men by accomplishing the conversation.
And once again, equality should not be mistaken as the absence of any difference between the genders. It essentially signifies that one recognizes and honors what every individual, by their peculiar nature, can provide to society and to each other. But the thing is, if we still do not have the boldness to openly discuss this inconvenient truth, the disequilibrium will keep adversely impacting women and men to the same extent.
Let us begin this conversation and not to diminish women's rights and progress, but rather, foster a more equal and honest society where both sexes realize their part to the other. The entire world will prosper from the relationships of the future that will be dependent on it.