It is 11:30 pm now. I have been thinking about my career and my family all day. I can't sleep at night thinking about everyone.
One of my parents lives in Gazipur city for their employment. I live in a small village in Natore district of Rajshahi. Since it is winter and 11:30 pm has passed, everyone has gone to sleep. However, a special meeting is ending and I am really worried and frustrated about my career.
In this small human life, I could not serve any human being. I could not benefit any animal and could not be a good child of my parents. I could not benefit the world and could not serve humanity as a human being.
Although the world has failed for me, I could not establish myself successfully in the world. But it feels worse than that, today I remember too much death.
Do you believe in life after death? If you do not believe in life after death, then you should avoid this post today. And if you believe in life after death, then my feelings can make you cry a lot, just like me.
It is important and strictly prescribed for me to do religious works since 7 years of birth. But I could not do my religious work. I could not achieve closeness to the Creator. I could not be a good child to my parents and a good husband to my wife. Despite doing so much for the family, at the end of the day I am a very insignificant person to the family.
But at this time of night, the thought of death seems very much. Our human life is made only of oxygen, i.e. air. If our oxygen, i.e. breathing, stops, we will die. So why and for what reason do we get so arrogant?
Moreover, I am a very disappointed person with life after death. The Creator created us to worship Him. He told us to do good deeds and told us to refrain from the evil deeds of the society. He told us to serve humanity and told us to refrain from human injustice.
But at the end of the day, we are always trying to go against the words of the Creator. We are avoiding good deeds, we like bad deeds. Instead of serving humanity, we are harming people more.
There is a system of heaven and hell after death. Good deeds will be rewarded in heaven and bad deeds will be punished. Doing good deeds will be rewarded and kept in a place of peace. And doing bad deeds will have to suffer severe punishment in the afterlife.
I don't know why tonight I feel very helpless. Because the people around me are now far away. The closest thing is death. I did not get any success in the world after coming to this world. I have even lost the confidence that I will not do good deeds and will get heaven in the afterlife.
Alas! Regret!! What will happen to me? I am still awake at night with this thought and I can't sleep at all. Who will comfort me?
All image are mine
I am 
