Funeral, Family, and friends have been the common theme these past two years.

Last year, after the funeral of my grandmother, it was a long holiday in the country that connects families and relatives. At the same time, I got reconnected with my high school friends whom I lost contact for almost a decade.

When May came, I turned a year older, and the year followed was a little blurry but mostly filled with hospital visits. I can’t recall if I travelled anywhere but I certainly did. Life takes a little twist and turns from there.

That cycle repeats this year except this time, it is my father.

When you’ve experienced lost in two consecutive years and especially when something is within your responsibility, that feels a little odd. Why did I experience this? Is there some type of message of experiencing this? Maybe there isn’t but I recalled last year was the turning point of me finding more inner strength and embracing my identity a lot more.

These twist and turns certainly disrupt my workflow and my productivity. My old self would have hated this kind of disruption. I would find my way crawling back into productivity and burying myself in some type of work. These days, I find no joy in attempting to be productive.

Whenever I am trying to be productive these days, I have some questionnaire that I’ve got to answer just so I could move into my desk and be motivated

“Why should I work? Why should I be ambitious? Why should I even make some money?” “Why should I be productive really?”

These experiences really changed the way I see the reason of working, hustling and even making money. Last year, I still could answer some of those including the racking hospital bills and other miscellaneous. These days, as much as the heavy burned is gone, I felt completely lost.

Those who know me, know that it’s always the ability of what money can do that I am always after. It’s rarely about the accumulation of it. So, my motivation has always been solely based on what I would get and do with those money and how bad I want it.

Just imagine if oxygen has a price and it’s something that we all need. I would be that type of person who solely chase after it based on this simple premise, “Do I really want oxygen and what would I get out of it? Cause I would just choose not to want it and drop it right there and cease everything.

You know, maybe not being able to afford my daily overpriced coffee would be a great reason to move forward.

I could probably find more reason but for now, that’s the easiest I could find.

But stop… Let’s make this post a happier one.

Nobody likes to read a sad and gloomy blog. Everyone wants to read something happier. A travel somewhere, pretty food pictures, you get the gist.

I was trying to write something that feels happy but couldn’t. I just had so much in mind but let’s talk about some of my recent café visits.

Since it’s a long holiday in the country, most of my friends are coming back home including my family. From there, after the long memorials, I got invited and went to all sort of places. You could say my social battery is completely drained but I could say it was probably worth it. I have more reason to be alone for the next couple of years to recharge.

During one of the social functions I attended, I discovered this recently opened café and a café that has different crowd than what I normally used to. It’s such a humble café that serves basic things.

I like the atmosphere of the café including the menu that they offer. I got this drink customized, and it was so good. Basically, this is a mixture of coconut water, matcha, and espresso. The taste of it was just refreshing and great. I went to the place twice and somehow; it’s my new favourite place in town.

Then there’s this café that also serve only pastries. Just look at these cakes! They were scrumptious and heavenly. As much as the place isn’t really my thing, their cake was to die for.

That’s all I guess… the happiest thing I could come across lately is just these through these caffeinated beverages.