The Noxsoma Chronicles [0046]
11-05-2025 … Day 23626 (Wellness in Wilmington)
The train ride was smooth and comfortable. All of the rest rooms remained operational. The passengers were mostly ruley. There was a police action just outside of Palaka, Florida. A passenger was escorted off of the train. But not at the station. Just beyond the station. The train stopped at a railroad-crossing blocking both sides of the street. The drivers of the cars on my side knew something was amiss. They turned their vehicles around – at least one of the disgruntled drivers drove her cadillac right up onto the sidewalk and through the grass to get out of that situation.
I was thinking – “We’ve been here a mighty long time.” Then the cops show up. Moments later a fellow is escorted off the train by the officers. He (the passenger) appears to be carrying all of his worldly possessions in a box full of plastic bags. Some miscellaneous garments are spilling over the side of the box.
This was what probably made the train late. Not every one of its forty-five minutes, but part of those minutes for sure.
The Silver Meteor – originating in Miami, Florida and terminating at New York City’s Penn Station has always pulled out promptly - - yesterday it was maybe thirty seconds early. The 8:10 started rolling at 8:09. It’s something I always take note of.
This traveler has ridden European trains - - and even Asian trains for that matter – enough to be spoiled by their efficiency. In Thailand, one train on which a steward would make up the bed for you also had a “restroom” which was literally a hole in the floor. There’s something cosmic about holding steady and watching the tracks go by as you water those tracks. However on a different line, also in Thailand, the train is air conditioned, which means there are several metal fans buzzing around. On another line a stewardess actually pushes a cart through the aisle with beverages both hot and cold. For free. (Included with your fare.)
In Europe, especially Germany and Spain – the trains are sleek and fast and smooth and always on time. If there’s one stereotype that is true about Germans – they are very precise and punctual. Stereotypes are usually stereotypes for a reason – especially the positive ones.
In America we have Amtrak. As a national railroad it’s the only game in town. By comparison to let’s say Renfe for example. (Renfe trains operate all around Spain) – Amtrak is shabby. Amtrak isn’t shabby because of the onboard personnel. They are working with what they got. Amtrak is shabby because there is not enough investment made it bringing Amtrak out of its shabbiness. (This is opinion coming up.) Too much foreign aid and not enough aid in making the US transportation system … third tier even. If Amtrak were literally a third rate system – globally speaking – it would be many times better than it is now.
But this is what we got. I have ridden it more times this year than any previous year this decade. And as I was rollin’ up the coast I was reading about how airports are canceling flights, air traffic controllers haven’t been paid and delivery planes are exploding. [Or maybe it crashed.] Is there any wonder why I will travel by shabby rails that are mostly late rather than stand in long security lines with impatient passengers and frustrated government workers and peakaboo x-ray-diation machines?
These are the times in which we live my friends. Those who point one finger to one problem might as well have that finger stuck up their nose. There are myriad problems with everything in the US that just plain doesn’t work – to what doesn’t work as well as it should – to what doesn’t work as well as it does in other countries. Like Asian countries, especially in Asian countries where there are a lot of Chinese operating the systems.
Anyway – while I was riding that train – going insane – Uni hit me up with today’s offering. We will as usual, give you a taste, then slam the door in your face and invite you to subscribe [who would do such a thing after being treated so rotten?] Or, you can come around to the side door. You just have to find that door.
SELF AWARENESS?
These 21st century terms all sound like hunkajunka to me. Why is this? Because maybe I actually think about them. But it's not just the envity I call "me". It's a connection with source that brings this stuff to mind. Today we are going to dismember "self awareness."
Lots of humans talk and write about being self aware. What does that mean? Does it mean more than the two words suggest? Merely to be aware of one's self? But what even does that mean? Who even knows what the self is?
Is it the flesh? The mind? The emotions? The behavior? The combination of these four examples plus a quasi-infinite number of others? How is any one being supposed to stay on top of that?
Or maybe it means ... and i get this from context clues, how we appear, or come off to others. Not all others, mind you. Usually it's just the one who is encouraging your self awareness. Or the guru who is coaching you on how to be a better human.
Our guess is that these coaches and pundits don't really know. They read a book, or wrote a book that was dubbed a "best seller" and 90% of the contents is theory, five percent is self aggrandizement and the other five percent is anecdotal.
"I knew this guy who... And he had this problem... and he called me and... now he's living on an island in the Caribbean." What the author doesn't mention is the island is Cuba and that guy's address Guantanamo Bay... prison.
I'm being a smartass as usual.
Nonetheless, we have been thinking about this self-awareness thing and as usual we go back to the circle. We are the test subject of this exercise and we are going to define "self-awareness" as our awareness of how we are emitting our "self" to others.
Self is in the middle of a 360 degree circle. Of course. No matter which way and when you turn your back is always facing half of your audience. Don't take the illustration literally and start putting eyes in the back of heads or trying to contort the subject. This is the way it is. There is always a back to every front. This qualifies as "truth."
In real life this idea overflows into the inability to be aware of how you are coming off to people you don't know, or don't know yet. Or will encounter and never know.
Perhaps you crossed someone exiting the café and you smelled stale cologne wafting off this cat and your nose involuntarily scrunched up behind this olfactory insult. But dude caught it.
He instantly thinks you're a bitch.
Why. Because you pulled a face he took as being nasty.
I know what you're thinking. It wasn't your fault. Of course it was his fault because he smelled.
He needs to be more aware of his scent. What's he thinking? He's thinking, "what's wrong with that bitch?"
Guys are easy like that.
But let's imagine, because without your humble scribe telling you what the two characters are thinking, neither one was aware of what they were sending.
You caught a whiff and reacted. He saw your face and reacted.
That's it. Over. In real life. Done. Especially in a big city. You both had an impact on the other and the story ends there.
Unless... you decide to tell your story to your girlfriends. Or ... you two encounter each other again. We will take creative license here and provide that your mutual encounter created deep emotional anchors in one another. So that the next time... maybe weeks later, he sees you in line at the same café and thinks, "there's that bitch!" But ... because he is not "aware" he doesn't even know why he thinks of you that way.
[Anybody triggered by the "B" word? See what I mean?]
So how about you see this guy and smell what you smelled last time. Even though he's too far away for you to smell it.
This is a real phenomenon. At least it is for yours truly. No need to go into details, but if you must .. DM me.
Maybe what the self-awareness advocates are really after convincing us of, is the awareness of our self, to our self.
Get it?
This is a limerick by Alan Watts. It took me a long time to remember it and even longer time to figure it out.
There was a young man who said tho,
It seems that I know that I know.
What I would like to see
Is the I that knows me
When I know that I know
That I know.
This, Watts concluded, and your boy has come to agree, that this is like trying to bite your own teeth with your teeth. I don't know whether Watts actually used the term "self-awareness." I think it was more like "knowing one's self." Which was repackaged for the turn of the 21st century or whenever it was.
It cannot be done. You can be mildly self aware of your pleasures and your triggers, your joys and traumas and the weak spots in your fortress where "demons" [bad thoughts, memories, experiences] can pry open a wound you and your guru thought was healed, and start stirring up trouble. But you can't really be aware of how your self would see yourself without the biases of being your self.
Savvy?
Plus, you will never [stated with confidence] be able to be aware of how others are perceiving you.
Think of haters as those to which your back is always turned, in our circle model. That's 180 degrees of negative vibes for a variety of reasons. That's why you keep your metaphorical "back" to them - so you don't "face" the demons. Face and absorb the love, while acknowledging the demons' presence, so you can defend yourself against them.
Dig me?
Now for the epilog.
Some will see this as wisdom, others as hunkajunka [aka bullshit]. It is your right and duty to think what you think. Adopt it. Deny it. Adapt it. Discard it. It's your choice. This was inspired by and guided by Universe.
It's not advice.
It's never advice.
Even if advice is implied. It's not advice.
Even if it's stated that it's advice. It's not advice.
Even if you take it as advice, use it successfully, thrive with it, flip it and make millions, I wanna a cut -- but it's still not advice.
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Here are links to today’s & yesterday’s episodes:
Peace of Mind: https://rumble.com/v70tbq8-peace-of-mind-full-metal-ox-day-1710.html
Magic of Luck: https://rumble.com/v70tck8-the-magic-of-luck-full-metal-ox-day-1711.html
Here’s how the show is doing on our channels.
Today’s Score (11-05-25)* Nov 4th & 5th
BC … 129
Rum… 34
Ody….. 0
This Month So Far
BC … 289
Rum … 124
Ody……. 0
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