"You learn a lot more about something when it's not in a jar," from Delia Owens' novel Where the Crawdads Sing.
People have different perceptions about us. Some are accurate, and some are just made-up descriptions of what they observed. In my 21 years of existence, one thing I've always heard from other people about me is that I am a shy, quiet girl. Growing up in a quiet house, I always thought staying silent most of the time was a requirement. Not until I got into college and realized how important it is to step outside our comfort zone.
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In our major subject, which is the Speech and Theatre Arts, we were tasked to select a single drama to perform live. All of us must collaborate since it will be considered as our final performance. After a few days of collecting suggestions, we come up with a few all-time favourite classics. There was Louisa May Alcott's Little Women, Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, and Delia Owens' Where the Crawdads Sing. Among the three, we only have to choose one to perform for the whole section. At first, it was Little Women because of the majority of females in our class. But our professor suggested that it would be better to choose Where the Crawdads Sing due to limited preparation time, and it is not difficult to source its wardrobe. Also, it would be nice to perform because of its unique storyline, and it would present a new perspective for the audiences. Therefore, without hesitation, we agreed and finally chose Where the Crawdads Sing as our theatre play.
And of course it would not be complete without the casting selection. There were a lot of worthy individuals who could nail the characters. DJ was chosen to play Tate, while James was Chase. They were excellent actors, as observed from the previous performances from other subjects. That's why there were no objections because surely they would give justice to its characters. However, it was Kya, the main character, that was quite challenging to decide. Some even hid their faces or excused themselves during the selection out of fear. And then my classmates suggested I play Kya. At first, I hesitated because I get nervous easily and might not be able to handle the pressure. But with their persuasion, I couldn't help but say yes since there was no one else willing to accept the role. I had mixed emotions at that time and had no idea if I could make it until the final day, but I just accepted my fate anyway. Besides, there won't be a next time. Maybe at least I should just do it or else regret that I didn't.
For only a few weeks of preparation, all of us were all eyes on our roles. Mariel, the director, made sure everyone played their part, or else they would be reported to the instructor as inactive. DJ, James, and I were told to focus on memorising our script and practicing our acting, since we will be playing the lead characters. The rest of the team were working on the props, music, and costumes. Every day when we have vacant time, we go to our classmate's house whose residence is nearby. Performers, prop managers, the music director, the narrator, and everyone else gathered and cooperated for us to have a successful presentation.
The pressure really pressed against me that time, knowing that a single mistake of mine might ruin the entire play. But looking at my classmate's efforts, I decided to set aside my agitation and focus on improving the way I deliver the lines and my facial expressions. I did not have a hard time understanding the character I will be playing because I already watched the movie of this novel. It was Daisy Edgar-Jones who played Kya in that movie. And although the novel itself has a lot of depth compared to the movie adaptation, watching it was the easiest first step in understanding the story since the novel is way too hard to comprehend, according to individuals who have already read it.
Only a few days were left, and the whole section went wild. Materials fell short, and there were still a lot of props that needed to be done. Surely, our bond was imperfect. There were some heated arguments and loud rants, and things almost got out of control. But I guess that is all part of the process because eventually everything was resolved. Before we even knew it, all necessary stuff was ready before the final day. Perhaps, we just needed a little chaos to straighten things out.
As the day had finally arrived, all of us were required to come early. Manpower was needed due to the heavy weight of the props and the backdrop. Our instructor gave us enough time to prepare and to have a rehearsal before starting. It was definitely the most nerve-wracking day I experienced in my whole college years. I thought it was only the section and the instructor who would be witnessing our play. But as I look around, high-ranking individuals in the school and students are everywhere. I think an excellent performance was being looked forward to from us, and those people were invited to watch our show. To ease my emotions, I distracted myself through preparing my wardrobe. Then I went to my day and told myself, "It is now or never."
I gave all my best and remembered what I practiced. In the first minute of the play, my nervousness was a bit obvious. However, as moments passed by, I got used to the tension and did very well. I was quite surprised how fast I recovered my composure. Not a single line was missed, and all emotions were utterly portrayed. The same goes for my fellow performers and props managers. They were excellent and enjoyed the presentation as much as I did. And when the show had successfully ended, everyone cheered with so much joy and satisfaction. We were jumping and giggling to our heart's content. Also, what made that day even more perfect was that our instructor gave us good feedback and a perfect score for our final performance. It was like we were having a fiesta with echoed voices throughout the campus because finally our hard work had finally paid off.
That’s when I realized that sometimes we never truly see what we’re capable of until we’re pushed beyond the borders we’ve quietly built around ourselves. Maybe people once saw me as the shy, quiet girl—but standing on that stage, delivering every line with certainty, I discovered a version of myself I never knew existed. I learned that growth often begins the moment fear and courage collide and that stepping outside our comfort zone doesn’t make us lose who we are—it helps us find who we can become.