It was yet another event hosted by the HivePH throughout the month of September. When I first saw the list of topics, I was surprised because they were all good. I would do it for someone like me who enjoys writing entries for a concept, whether it's a challenge or a story. HivePH decided on a theme this week that stated,
As we enter the ber months of 2022, we can reflect on how devastating the previous years were. It was difficult to survive, seeing how your family struggled to keep the job and find new work opportunities for those who lost their jobs. We Filipinos place the greatest value on the happiness and well-being of our families. I didn't notice any unhealthy sentiments in our home during the hurdles, as if everything was fine. But, more importantly, the quality of relationships before and after the reunion is what gives true meaning in the colder months.
Only two things come to mind during the ber months: gatherings and family reunions. Our family clan's breadth and complexity were widely dispersed across the provinces, so it's no surprise that whenever we had a family gathering, I saw new faces. New faces that represent the birth of a new sprout of seeds implanted in our last name. For a variety of reasons, the gathering was not held frequently, but when it was, it was within the scope of ber months.
One reason for reunions is that they allow us to meet new people, such as new husbands, wives, and children. Who wouldn't look forward to welcoming the latest additions to the family? It was pure delight for the entire family to hug, kiss, and pinch the baby's cheeks as he cried out loud. You will be blown away when you see the entirety of your family's clan in front of you. It may sound bizarre, but I believe the vast majority of us do not know or recognize each other. Given how infrequently we have seen each other, how could we?
Reunion is about reconnection
It was an ecstasy to be able to meet my old family members who had been far away from us for so long because my family was scattered not just in the provinces of the Philippines but all over the world. I did think I'd lost count of how many of my family members had made the decision to find employment and relocate abroad, and when the November and Holiday period arrived, I expected them all to return home as they did year after year. Some of them would start arriving early in order to have sufficient time for a vacation.
It was both touching and heartbreaking to see my grandmother, aunts, and uncles cry on their journey to the airport after finally seeing their children, siblings, nieces, and nephews. In fact, since I'm an emotional person, I sometimes dislike going with them. When I saw them wailing aloud as if someone had died, I couldn't hold back my tears. Reconnection of communication, heart, and emotion is one of the best things that can happen during the ber months.
Reunion is about forgiveness
Most of the time, the family would be brimming with joy and good memories, but there would still be misunderstandings and arguments. I wanted to avoid dealing with any of these, however, when a family conflict arose, it meant the entire family was involved. My grandparents, in particular, disliked fighting among their children. It was something deeply embedded in the family, so when a fight erupted, I knew exactly how my grandparents would react and act.
In this way, the reunion will serve as a bridge to resolve the conflict, and for the first time in my life. I saw how my grandmother went to great lengths to repair the broken glass in our family. When my grandmother spoke with a double-edged sword of words that cut two of my aunts' hearts, I thought it was the most terrifying moment of my life. We were stunned, perplexed, and shaken because we had never seen her operate such an approach before. As a result, I believe the colder months are more than just about happiness.
Reunion is about presence and presents
Presents and gifts are all readily accessible under the Christmas tree during in the Christmas season. The decorations, such as stars, bells, candies, gingerbread, and lights, required a long time to prepare for the Christmas tree. Apart from the gifts we could give to our loved ones, there is one thing I always seek: their presence. I believe that gifts are insufficient to express and cover the joy of the person who will receive your gift. Your presence means much more than that.
My godmother has been sending me gifts since I was a child, and she has never failed to impress me with her generosity. However, over time, I realized that I needed her presence at Christmas as well. I desperately wanted to meet her as a child and godson. Despite this, she had rarely called or met my mother until now. It was the same for parents who worked abroad and were unable to spend Christmas with their families. Your presence can never be bought or equaled in any way to the value of your gifts.
The colder months are about reunions and gathering with your loved ones, despite any situation in life. For someone like me, who’s young and starting to discover things about my family, my entire perspective has shifted dramatically. It didn’t matter to me whether I received a gift or money; what mattered was that I was happy and we were complete. There are many meaningful things about the colder months, but I think they are all anchored to one thing: gathering. The gathering of connection, forgiveness, the collection of presents, and the very presence of yours in the family.