I remember I used to crave for some time at the beach, sitting on the sand, and just looking at the clear waters. This was my definition of vacation--stillness amidst the movement of nature.
With life being so busy and fast-paced right now, I know how important rest can be to recharge my energy and my spirits. But for some reason, I don't know how to rest and relax anymore. I can't spend a few hours by myself without grabbing my phone or thinking about the next work I'm going to do. I haven't gone on a vacation to the beach just to sit down on the sand and enjoy the peace of doing nothing.
Can rest be unlearned and relearned? Because I badly need it in my life. I want to go back to my younger self when I could turn off my busy mind and fill up my "batteries" by immersing in the beauty and tranquility of the beach.
I want to bring back my past self who knew how to unload his baggage on the hot summer sand, who knew how to wash away his worries into the salty waters, and who knew how to fill up his heart with the sight of the waves crashing into the shore.
I have never felt so old in my life right now, even though I am technically at my oldest. I feel the callouses of age numbing my hopes and excitement, squeezing the limited time and energy I have. Is there a way to peel them off and start living young again? How do you summon your younger self? Your inner child?
I don't want to hurl myself into the future knowing I'll break down eventually. I don't want to keep going without saving myself. I don't want to keep going without my inner child.
"I don't wanna do this without you
I don't wanna do this if you're just a ghost in the night
I tried everything to fill up the void that you left me with
My phantom
I was wrong to assume I would ever outgrow you
I need you now, I need you close, how do you hold a ghost?
Inner child, come back to me
I wanna tell you that I'm sorry, I'm sorry"*
-Rina Sawayama | Phantom
The photos you see above are from my Beach Trip to the north of Cebu. The beach's name is Paradise Beach, which was aptly named. It was a scenic beach tucked in a distant town of Cebu. Memories of that trip give me a glimpse of how I was able to let everything go, enjoy the moment, and rest.
šParadise Beach (now Paradizzo Beach Resort), Kawit, Medellin, Cebu, Philippines