The Farmboy and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary not so long ago. It was quite hard to believe it's been over a decade. It was not perfect, (no one's relationship is, and will ever be), but we are grateful to have danced the tides of marriage gracefully.
Meanwhile, my younger brother (who wedded 5 months ahead of me) is still going through the legal process of getting out of his entanglement. While it may be easy for couples in other nations to get divorced, that option is not available in our country so the only way for a legally married couple to separate is through annulment, the process of which is not easy and could take ages for one to see an end.
Even if the other party agrees with the one seeking annulment and signs the papers, they still need to convince the court (judge) by providing compelling grounds to prove their marriage was not meant to be.
For example, one would declare 'psychological incapacity' as the reason, and the illness is so grave that the person fails to perform his/her essential marital obligations. Even so, that's not the end of it. The court will still need an expert witness in the form of a psychologist/psychiatrist who will testify to confirm such a declaration. Such a very tough situation, especially when the couple has children.
Legal Process Can Take Years
My brother's case had been going on for more than 2 years and there seemed no finality yet. Someone I know got his freedom back after 48 months. One of my closest friends is also experiencing difficulty with hers, considering she's a judge in another city. A celebrity had her annulment approved after 10 years!
Yes, that's how crazily lengthy it is over here. The Family Law makes the legal labyrinth of annulment so complex that it frustrates people, especially those who no longer feel safe in their marriage. It makes one wonder why it is so complicated.
I have no idea how the process is in other towns or regions, but here in our locality, we learned that annulment cases are quickly piling up and the court schedule cannot catch up. Accordingly, it was faster with the old judge but things had been dragging on longer since he passed away, and a new one took the seat.
That's something... things could improve with efficiency.
Impact on the Parties
Getting out of a marriage is an emotional (and psychological) battle, not only for the two people involved but also for their immediate families, even heavier for the kids. My brother's two girls were too young (3 & 5 respectively) when their parent's woes started but they still carry today the damage of what they had gone through. It's heartbreaking, one would wish it never happened.
Because of the complex process involved, some couples just go their separate ways without going through it. But then, they cannot remarry legally and their assets or properties could be a source of dispute in the long run.
And yes, cases dragging on far too long prolong the agony and extend related trauma or any psychological stress on the parties. That's why I fervently hope the process will change and get swifter so those going through it will not suffer much longer.
This publication was inspired by one of the topics in the AprilinLeo initiative.
Disclaimer: The situations described here may not represent the whole country.
Thumbnail was created on Canva. Image by Cottonbro Studio. 28042024/20:15ph