University of the Philippines (UP), You Are the Dream I Had to Let Go
Have you ever made a decision that was so hard to make? I hate making difficult decisions, especially when they're about my future. I think this is the hardest decision I have ever made in my entire life. It really hurts to think that I declined an offer that I once prayed for.
I really don't like it because in other people's view, when you go to UP, they immediately assume you'll become rebellious. Why is it like that? Can't someone who studies in UP just be a normal student? A lot of people want to pass UP, and I am one of them. Sadly, there are also many who are not allowed to study in UP because they say it will make them rebellious, and I am also one of them.
Where My UP Dream Began
My dream of studying in UP started in Grade 11. Actually, before Grade 11, I really didn't care much about college because I was still very undecided. In Grade 11, I joined my first and last contest in high school, and it was held at University of the Philippines Cebu.
That's where I saw UP students enjoying their life, and I really liked the campus because of its nature vibes, unlike other universities where you mostly just see buildings everywhere.
At that time, I promised myself that if I ever apply UP Cebu, I would take BS Math, because the contest I joined at UP Cebu was the Philippine Mathematical Olympiad, and it made me realize how much I enjoy solving challenging math problems and how I wanted to improve in that field.
The Reality of Applying for College
When I applied to University of the Philippines Cebu, I hadn't asked my parents yet because I was unsure if they would allow me. I just randomly chose my programs. In UP Cebu, my first choice was BS Math, and I also randomly picked the next up to the fourth choice. In UP Diliman, I applied for BS Chemical Engineering because that's really my dream program.
It was actually the first university I ever applied to, and it made me realize how scary it is to apply for universities, especially when you know you might not be allowed to pursue your dream program.
UPCAT Experience
I took the UP College Admission Test(UPCAT) last August 3, and since my birthday is August 1, I really wished that I would pass. But at that time, I only studied the reviewer they gave at the last minute. I also followed some superstitions, like not taking a picture with the UP Oblation.
For me, the exam was around 5/10 in difficulty. The hardest part was science. While taking the test, I even found myself laughing because there were some random and funny questions, you’ll really wonder why they were included in the first place.
Results
Now that the results are out, I initially passed as waitlisted. I accepted the waitlist offer, and then I received an email saying I officially passed. I just ended up crying because it hurts so much knowing I had to decline it, even though UP is really my dream, no matter what program, as long as it’s UP.
When I shared it with my parents, I was almost crying too because they still won’t allow me, saying I might become rebellious. I’m actually crying while writing this.
I hate letting go. I hate that feeling so much, and now I'm actually experiencing it in real life. It's different when you just think about it, but it hurts even more when you’re already in the situation where you have to choose between holding on to your dream or accepting reality.
UP, you were once a dream, and now you are the dream that I had to let go.