"Tara idaan na lang natin yan sa maboteng usapan" (Let's just have a good conversation - Mabote being a clever play on the word Mabuti which means good but in this context Bote means bottle of alcohol so what it really means is let's have a drunken conversation)
I grew up listening to Eraserheads giving voice to my thoughts and the feelings I kept close to my heart.
Their songs made me want to learn how to play the guitar and belt out drunken verses as we nursed the latest rejection one of us suffered from our crushes.
Pare ko was a favorite as we drank, jammed, shouting with gusto the curse words in the lyrics. It's a seeming tale between two friends who just got friendzoned and just had their hearts broken.
O pare ko..meron akong problema..
Wag mong sabihing na naman..
In love ako sa isang kolehiyala..
Hindi ko maintindihan..
Wag na nating idaan..sa "ma-boteng" usapan..
Lalo lang madaragdagan..
ang sakit ng ulo at bilbil sa tiyan..
It is such a fun song to get wasted on.
Photo by Nikhil Shetty on Unsplash
Come to think of it whenever we get together as men it is often under the pretense of catching up and having a bottle or two of your chosen poison. It may be beer when we were younger and broke. To tequila, vodka or gin when we wanted to be shit-faced drunk to nowadays enjoying a glass of good whiskey or rum as we have now grown older.
It is so seldom that we would meet up and have coffee or tea. Especially weird if we get together and have some milktea lol. It is almost always with some alcohol to get us to be comfortable to talk about how our lives are. It is as if alcohol is needed for us to be able to open up our emotions and let go of some of the filters that we set on our sober selves.
This made me think of that one time that Adam talked about the difference in how men and women communicate and establish a connection. Men would tend to be factual and not ask very personal questions like what do you do, what car you drive or what's your background while women tend to ask more personal questions in trying to establish an emotional connection.
Alcohol, being the liquid courage, makes men relax and let go of that constant control to appear manly, of always showing the strong confident side, of pushing down feelings because it will make us look weak and vulnerable. It's no wonder so many men are so messed up with the constant tight grip on emotions and no means to release it for fear of being seen as limp and puny. Our egos cannot stand that.
Drinking alcohol is not seen as a weakness though. It is an acceptable event to swap stories and laugh out loud and have a great time. After several bottles in people will start to talk about their regrets, their hang-ups, their what-ifs. It is that time to be contemplative and have quiet introspection without bravado. Shit finally becomes real.
The Maboteng usapan now really becomes a good conversation as people will lower the defenses that they painstakingly cultivated in their sober moments. The truth now sets you free.
This made me think of the meet-up we had in Hive PH three weeks ago as the alcohol kept flowing as shot after shot was called. The buzzed conversations between strangers, the stolen glances taken, the confessions said out loud. The songs were sung as we enjoyed ourselves in the company of people that we have long talked online but have never seen face to face.
It was a fun night to drink with people.
Mabote (bottle) has truly become Mabuti (good)