It’s Been.. What? A Year?

I never thought I’ll be opening this account again.

It’s been.. what, a year? since I last posted here. After the previous post, I tried to move on with my life. Live each day, and then those thoughts were gone.

Now, I thought they’re completely gone.

They aren’t.

I think I’m in a loop.

These thoughts of chaos and confusion are always visiting me at this time of the year.

When will I ever get out of this mess?

I can’t even pinpoint what brought me here in the first place.

I’m just so tired of everything and I just want to take a break. A very much needed one. The one where I don’t have to bother about responsibilities and not think of deadlines.

Ah yes, deadlines. Too hectic at work but can still end work in a day. Not the over overtime kind. I’m probably thinking of my deadliest deadline few weeks from now.

I’m thinking too much of the future.
Probably one of the reasons why my mind is a mess.
I can’t organize my thoughts well.

The house? It’s also a mess but nobody’s saying something about it. I’m getting used to it. Even if I say something, my voice couldn’t reach. No actions..yet. It’s all in my mind. What I want to do.

Probably it adds to the mess in my mental state. Clean home, clean mind? Maybe. Who knows.

I have a lot of goals. But I just think about them. Then I get frustrated. Ah, back to no actions..yet. Still in my mind what to do. Probably this is my sick attitude. And I hate it. But I still don’t take any action.

Procrastination and forward thinking.. they’re both eating my brain.

How are you? How do you keep yourself alive?