Photo from Nick Nice in unsplash
It’s past midnight but I’m wandering in town. Alone. I don’t have a destination. I just want to walk and walk and walk away from home.
Why? That’s a good question.
Actually I am not sure why. Perhaps I just want to be free. Free from the pain in my heart. Free from the thoughts running in my head.
I’m not the typical type to give out decisions when angry or when I’m hurt. I know those decisions would make me regret something in the future. And I’ve decided long ago to live life without regrets.
Being at home, I feel so suffocated at some point. Don’t get me wrong. I love being at home. I love staying at home. I love everything at home.
But it’s just too much pain right now to be at home.
Did I just get tired of it? Probably. Who knows.
Sometimes I just want to be alone in my thoughts and sometimes being at home, I wouldn’t be able to see a new perspective. Being at home would sometimes make me not think clearly.
Maybe I’m so used to being at home where comfort is.
I don’t know where I’m going now with these words and with this walk. It’s too early. Stores are closed. Few cars passing by. No crowded streets. No sound from dogs or cats or whatever living creature.
Just me and the thunder and the rain. I don’t even like walking in the rain but I’m doing it now.
I should probably head back now.
But maybe later when my thoughts are clear.
When will they be cleared though?