Have you ever felt like drowning from all the stresses and burdens in life? To the point of feeling heavy, as if the weight of the world is on your shoulders?
Have you experienced waking up in the morning after an eight-hour sleep yet feeling tired and weak? To the point of wanting a breakdown and just let it out?
Have you been feeling drained and unproductive lately? To the point of just wanting to lie in bed, not go to work or postpone scheduled tasks?
That's what I have been feeling lately and I am fully aware, I am not on my best self. I was exhausted yet I wasn't doing something. I felt heavy yet I wasn't carrying anything. I am speechless but my heart holds a thousand words I needed to scream out. I need a break - from work, from people, from everything and everyone. I needed an outlet to release this emotional weight.
I was on my terrace one morning, looking at the view. For the past few months of living on my own, I get to discover more of myself. In times like this, I felt like the more I sit and do nothing, the more I get tired. The more I think I'm sad, the more it seemed I am. The more I overthink about my worth, the more I felt I am not good enough (at work). Therefore, it's all in my mind. I had to do something to change my mindset. I had to redirect my thoughts.
There is something in me that I had to release, may it be a burnout caused by work, failing self-expectations, too much alone time, or maybe a crisis that I had to deal with for me to grow, as an individual.
The partner bought me a few big pots for a hundred each on the streets of Tuburan, Cebu. He realized that I have been a functional plantita lately. π±π (I love plants but there are times, I ran out of time and attention in properly taking care of them aside from my everyday routine of feeding them the right amount of shade and water.) Since he is observant, he bought me things I could benefit from, something essential for future use. And yes, I admit, this is too smart of him.
REPOTTING PLANTSππ±
π± Instead of just blankly staring at the surroundings, what I did was, I started to gather these stunning plants from my balcony, and decided to replot them. Their old pots were too small for them already. They have grown so fast and so big, so their roots needed a much bigger space for them to freely grow.
π± I prepared three sacks of mixed soil and manure.
π± I put manure on the base of the pots before I place the plants.
π± I carefully took the plants from their old pots and transferred them to these pots filled with the mixture mentioned above. It took a couple of minutes before I successfully transfered them because their roots have built a strong foundation with their old and little pots. So I had to make use of my strength and strategy not to harm the plants. Indeed, these large arms were of use. Hahaha.
π± I added the soil and manure, enough to fill up the pots. I sprinkle water afterward.
I placed the plants on my terrace where they are sheltered and add color and beauty to my place.
REDIRECTING THOUGHTSππ§
I was sweating hard while doing the replotting and when it was done, I felt fulfilled. Looking at where the plants are situated and how great they looked in their new pots made me feel productive. It is something I was able to do and accomplish. Seeing how these potted plants beautify my place gave me a sense of validity and importance, that I can do something better and new than just sticking to what I used to.
Plants and planting, based on this experience, are emotional cures. They are therapeutic. I am not romanticizing the effects of having plants and exerting an effort to show care to them but I'm glad of what I felt after. I was able to redirect my thoughts, to what only matters. And yes, I am not totally fine yet but I felt a little lighter.π I will still be working on this phase until I feel better. Moreover, accomplishing something, no matter how small it is, just like repotting plants, is still an accomplishment.π
FOR THE SOUL
In life where we will be tested by certain circumstances and occurrences, may we always seek help and solutions when things get tough and rough. May we have that drive to aim for what's better and if by chance we lose track of our way, may the people or things around us help us find the right path.
When life suffocates us, may we find ways to breathe and resuscitate ourselves, may it be by hiking, baking, planting, going to the beach, reading a book, watching a movie, traveling, discovering places, or maybe writing, writing a blog. π These could all aid and help us overcome self-inflicted crises.
This is all for today's win against demotivation, burnout, and exhaustion. No matter what, we have to keep going. Let's all be safe. Let's all be well.
Until the netswriting.