“For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, but lose his soul?" -Mark 8:36”
I been asking a lot of questions lately as I found myself again staring blankly at the white canvass, mind-wandering. The silence was deafening. Portraits of the past which I kept hidden in the dungeons of my head unearthed rapidly flashing through my eyes. One thing that rings a bell was someone asking,
"What's the hardest lesson you've learned in life?"
I pondered on the question and hurriedly searched for answers wanting to run away from the pitch-black morbid tales of yesterday. But I was stuck anyway, unable to move an inch from the harsh realities of life. I had no other choices but to bravely confront it once more- to become vulnerable, to look into the depths of my heart, and to search for answers in the core of my conscience just to blew off the steam.
"FORGIVENESS.
Forgiving even if it wasn't asked for!," the voices said.
Very Hard.
Have I achieved it?
Without a second thought I said,
"YES!"
Have I attained inner peace?
I caught myself in deep waters gasping for air.
I sadly said, "NO."
Then, the big fat NO revealed the fallacies of the former. I made progress but still it wasn't enough. The walls I built for years, just to keep the past hidden, crashed in a matter of seconds and revealed the scars. I couldn't help but asked the same question again,
"In a world when it could be anyone, why it had to be ME?"
I could only whisper my thoughts as I searched for answers in the wilderness. I don't wanna be there, in that same fate. History taught us to learn the lessons of the past not to repeat the mistakes of it. I wanted to write a different story this time. Maybe sooner or later but I will take my time anyway.
The bruises and experiences we have had shape us. The world will never be fair even if we choose to do good but DO GOOD anyway. Though anybody is capable to do or becomes a victim of inequality, deceit, hatred, betrayal, etc. but anyone can also choose fairness, truth, perseverance, goodwill, forgiveness, and love. We can choose the colors and brush strokes to paint our world anyway.
As Christmas is fast approaching, I sincerely hope that the Lord's Nativity will remind us do good things, achieve true forgiveness, attain inner peace, and love one other. No matter how good or bad we are, no matter how massive or little we have, or no matter who and what we may become, may we always be reminded
to FREE OURSELVES BY FACING THE TRUTH,
to DO WHAT IS RIGHT,
to BE FORGIVING, and
to CHOOSE KINDNESS.
After all,
“For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, but lose his soul?" -Mark 8:36”
P.S.
Dear Self,
You been too hard on yourself for years now as you been fighting battles silently and won wars over the demons inside your head. You kept your balance after all the punches and blows you took, lost your confidence in the process, lost your direction, and shed rivers of blood yet you smiled anyway. You owe yourself FORGIVENESS. You deserve PEACE and all the LOVE in the world. Be gentle to yourself 'coz you deserve it so much.
LOVE YOURSELF.
PPS.
There's a light every end of the tunnel which means there is HOPE for you if you're re fighting battles silently.