Eighteen days more, and we will be celebrating our Papa Jesus' birthday again. Christmas is coming to town, and I know that the kids are excited because they can hold some money and receive gifts from their godparents. As for me, my mom told me this: "You're so old already; you should not come into your Ninang house because she has a daughter now." Okay, I won't! Huhu, because of this, I remember the times that she always got the money that my godparents gave me. She told me that she would keep it so that I wouldn't lose it, but when Christmas and the New Year passed, my money didn't return to my hands. Before Christmas, she is also the one who will tell me to go to my godparents' houses because they are just nearby and greet them. Lol
Anyway, before and during the holiday season, I didn't really tell other people my holiday wishes. When my parents, my aunts and uncles, or even my godparents asked me what I wanted when I was a kid, I didn't respond to them. Maybe because I don't like to tell people what I want and just let them give me what they can, as long as it comes from the bottom of their hearts. It's okay to me, though, even if it's just a simple greeting like "Merry Christmas!" or a simple wish for me.
But time changes people, and before was different from now. Now that I am old, I have a lot of wishes, but of course, I am not used to telling other people what I want. Especially the time when they asked what was on my Christmas wishlist, I was shy to say it, which is why the message for how many hours couldn't be sent and I just typed, erased, typed, erased, and repeated.
Oh! Speaking of Christmas party, I remember that before our Christmas party during SHS, we should need to write down on a 1/4 pad of paper our name and what is on our wish list for someone who will get our name. I couldn't write anything, so I just wrote, "Anything that you can afford."
In the past years, I have admitted that I have holiday wishes, but I didn't say them because I knew that they would never come true. Actually, I don't like receiving material things because this gift is not just a simple thing. It was also important to my life.
I wish my family was complete during the holiday season.
This is the only photo that we have that shows that we are complete as a family, and it survived the typhoon because it was uploaded to one of my mom's old social media accounts.
Every Christmas, when my parents were divorced, there was no other wish in my mind but to complete our family together again because I was still hoping that we would become a perfect family again. I didn't say this because I believed that when you share your Christmas wishes before the holidays, they will never come true. However, now that I have finally said what my wish is, we can either say it or not, but I don't hope for this to come true anymore. I don't even remember how we celebrate Christmas and the New Year now that those memories from when I was younger are gone.
As of now, I just have a connection with my father and my mother being away from each other.
I wish my mom would go home and celebrate the holidays with us.
It's been a long time since the last time I was with my mom. She came home last July 2018 here in the Philippines to celebrate my 18th birthday, though I don't like to celebrate it because it's just a waste of money (you can see it in my smile that it is just a forced smile because I really don't like being in front of many people), but my mom wanted it because I was her youngest child, and this is just one of those things that happens to a girl like us.
Anyway, she promised us during last year's holiday season that she would come home this year and during this month of December to celebrate her birthday and the holidays with us. But she told us last month that it was postponed and she would just go home during our grandparents' golden wedding anniversary next year, and it was also my older sister's graduation.
Though she said that she would go home at those times, I can't stop myself from being sad because we will celebrate the holiday season again without my mom. I envied my cousins because they could celebrate it with their family, with their parents.
And I bet many Hivers will also upload happy family photos together during Christmas and New Year's Eve. Sana all.
Conclusion...
Of course, money will also make me happy every holiday season, but that's only permanent happiness. Being able to be with my family again every holiday season after a few years of not seeing them will make me happier.
And this is all my wish for this Christmas; I know it will never come true, but I still hope for it.
This is my entry for the 
