I had many dreams about the kind of house I wanted when I was a child, because our house back then was very small. I’ve shared a lot here before about our house when I was young, and maybe you’ve already read that post. But if you haven’t, I’ll give you a shortcut. Our house back then was built only from simple materials. We were poor, but life was still good because we were complete as a family.

The house we are living in now is not really our own. It’s the house of my grandparents, because ever since my mother and father separated, my sister and I have been living here. Their house is nice because it’s made of cement, it’s spacious, and you can really see that my mother’s family was well-off when she was still young. Compared to my father’s side, who had almost nothing, that’s why my mother chose for my sister and me to stay here with our grandparents—because she knew it was safer for us siblings and that we would be well taken care of.

The kind of house I wanted when I was a child was one with a second floor. I guess I was just influenced by the dramas I used to watch on TV. But now, my dream house has changed, because I’ve experienced cleaning inside a house and realized how tiring it actually is. That’s why what I want now is similar to my grandparents’ house. I just want a single-story house with two rooms. Nothing too luxurious or flashy that would show off wealth—just something simple, with a sense of space and freedom.

Back then, my grandparents’ house didn’t really look like that. It was just cemented, and the roof was only galvanized iron that could be blown during storms. There were no dividers in the rooms, and we only used old cabinets as partitions. But when I was in high school, my aunt—who is the second child of my grandparents and working abroad—had the house renovated. Still, it wasn’t entirely her contribution, because my mom and I helped have the walls in the terrace and the rooms plastered back when I still had some savings.

And now that there’s a baby, my mom has to keep my grandparents’ house in order since the baby lives with us. The house needs to be spacious and free from dust, unlike before when the roof was only made of galvanized iron. Even before my sister gave birth, my mom, together with my aunt, had my grandparents’ house renovated—which we now also call our own home.

I know the living room is messy. LOL. I also blocked off the kitchen since it hasn’t been fixed yet. Our house still isn’t fully organized, especially with our grandparents living with us—there are so many scattered things in every corner. And the baby’s mom also puts her children’s things all over the place. That’s why before I posted this, I really made sure to tidy things up first. 😆

But I don’t really meddle with the living room anymore since I already have my own room. It’s exhausting to always be the one cleaning the house, especially when the people I live with don’t even know how to cooperate.

This is the room that, for now, I call mine, but technically it really belongs to my mom. She said that in the future, she’ll be the one staying here—since she knows I’ll eventually get married. But what if I don’t get married? HAHA Charot! If you take a look, this is probably the nicest room in the house. That’s because I like to keep it clean; I don’t like dirt and clutter. Even when I was suffering from depression and struggling with my mental health in the past months, I still managed to keep my room tidy, no matter how busy I got taking care of my niece.

I can’t really say this is the most beautiful room in the house; it just looks neat. And besides, my cat even used the bricks by my room’s doorway as its stress reliever. jusko! 🥲

But at least now, I can say that my room looks decent, since I don’t see any clutter around. It’s also nice for video calls because there’s no visible mess.

But you know what, even if our house looks nice now, it still doesn’t feel like an ideal home when the people you live with don’t know how to get along. They don’t clean up, and they’re always fighting at any time of the day. That’s why I want to have my own place someday—I just don’t like this kind of environment. I’ve realized that no matter how beautiful a house may be, if family life isn’t good, then it loses all its beauty.

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