Hello everyone! I hope everyone is doing well. I am also doing ok where I am. I know that it took me quite awhile to make this as I went into a journey- personally, creatively, professionally.
One of the reasons that it took me quite awhile to post again was that of me having a moment- I wanted to know exactly where this will take me. I honestly started feeling and getting anxiety on how people are perceiving this- is it too childish, worthless?
Also, I wanted to know where am I going to take this. Am I going to be sticking on the kawaii side or, will I finally have the courage to go on realistic/ classical sculpture?
Another unresolved issue that I have is that, I am not happy with the frosting that I had been using. While I saw a lot of recipes for decoden frosting, advertisements for different types of clay icing, I have opted to create my own. I wanted everything to be organic- mine as I do know that I will be needing a lot of it. Not to mention, it will be more expensive and impractical to do that.
Living on my own had been a wonderful- magical experience for me. Though the cost of living alone is more expensive compared to sharing a house/ renting a room, I find myself feeling more comfortable and appreciative of my living arrangements. I do not need to deal with anyone's idiosyncrasies, adjust or even try to fit in. What I say goes and that gives me immense satisfaction and peace.
I felt sad and alone sometimes. I had been sick more often than I wanted to admit and on those times, I just randomly burst crying. I have to keep reminding myself that it was my choice - the advantages outweigh the negatives. Its hard not to have a family here- I miss the warmth of someone hugging, comforting me.
But, I have to soldier on. I just came into a point in my life where I would choose to be alone rather than be in an abusive relationship where I get taken advantaged or become the victim eventually.
Professionally, I have finally felt that the years I spent working had finally paid off. I feel more mature and confident what I am doing. I felt calmer, more at peace, happy- even when it meant that most of my shifts recently had been challenging. Amazingly, despite these tribulations, I rarely called in sick. I felt more resilient, calmer, happier.
You guys are probably wondering where the title came from. Well, from the figurine on the first picture. This is my first cake- frosting it like a real cake- the cake that we can eat.
Apart from the materials which are obviously made of polymer clay, the process- frosting and creating the details are very similar to those of a real cake. It took me quite this long to figure out the right recipe- as I wanted it to resemble a real cake- frosting- more on that on my next posts.
I did not really intend the unicorn to be bigger than the cake but, I was using a shitty clay. The only way for me to proceed is trying to mitigate- blend everything in. If I removed the sculpture at the top, it will literally take a huge chunk of the frosting( it started solidifying at that point) and, I just do not want to do this again today.
Another thing that I wanted to share with you guys is my journey. Up until today, I have always been insistent that the reason I was able to come here is because of my persistence, effort, work. One day, I saw a post in the internet featuring stories of people from my own country attempting to settle in here- though some of them were not nurses, I could understand the hardwork, the frustration and finally, why they surrendered. I would have done the same thing too if it did not work out well for me.
The problem with most people, is that they only see the success, the benefits, the advantages but never the hardwork, frustration, effort put into something. Most of the people that I chat with in the internet always tell me that I am lucky to be here, doing what I am doing, living here and finally being able to settle in. They cannot comprehend all the work, effort I put into it.
Looking back, I want to think of it as a combination of luck and work. I was on the right place, on the right time doing what would facilitate me to stay here.
You guys enjoy the pictures I took of the frosting I made and also the "sprinklers" that I bought locally. I would have preferred to make my own. But the goal is the frosting for now.
