'I'm moving the chickens today' says me, sometimes, apparently, the most annoying wife in the world. There's not a week goes by that I don't find another way to annoy my husband. It's a hobby. He loves it. From breaking down on the highway to putting up shelves or helping me clean up the mess I've made regroutiing the bathroom, I give him Jobs to do with a capital J.
'Can't we wait til next week when I'm a little less - tired?' he begs.
'Nope. They're going TODAY'. I had two broody hens and I needed to monitor them. Plus, I was fed up with going out to the house to check on them - it was half an hours drive, and it was only seven days til we settled (this Friday) meaning goodby to the acreage and all it's JOBS with all capitals to do daily.
'Where are we going to put them?' the hubs says meekly, knowing I wanted him to build a coop and knowing how long it'll take him when he has a roofing job to help out with on Monday, namely, our roof.
'Ah don't worry about, it, we'll just chuck him behind the shed with a bit of ply and - idk - those old ply shelves you were gonna chuck can be the nesting boxes? And an old gate across to lock them in?'
Good in theory, but let me tell you, chicken heathens, that chooks can fly, or give a good go at it. Two promptly jumped over the back neighbours fence, and we didn't know him well enough to jump over and get them. Instead, it was us moving some boards across on rusty nails and clucking 'chook chook chook chook chook'. Nope. Took us an hour to get them over. We trimmed their wings, told them to stay the fuck put, and went inside for a nap.
Of course, when I woke up and checked the chooks, the other two had jumped the fence. Jamie woke up not best pleased and muttered something about 'I told you it wasn't a fucking good idea to move the chooks' and 'you are the most fucking annoying wife in the fucking world'.
'Now darling, that's not how we solve problems' I smiled sweetly. I was thinking to myself, at least they weren't killed by a flying pallet in the wind (ask 
Of course, we managed to cobble something together - two gates, a bit of ply, some dog mesh, and a bird mesh - voila, whilst kookaburras took the piss over the fence and magpies gathered ready to bully the new arrivals.
It's not a permanent fix, but two days later, the debacle is forgotten and the chooks have calmed down into their new space. I even got one egg - an egg that cost me an argument, a day of chasing poultry, and more swearing than we should be doing in backyard suburbia.
and in other domestic news...
We finally managed to enlist friends to help us move the massive dining table Jamie made years back. We can't fit it in the new house as it's too big, and thought that rather than by a new outdoor table we may as well sacrifice it to make it into our new deck setting. Our new deck is kinda huge so it doesn't look big in the space.
One day we'll have a covered patio maybe, so it's a whole other room, but with a new cantilever umbrella it's a pretty sweet space to enjoy summer afternoons.
And the sound of chooks clucking in the corner of the yard makes it feel kinda like - home.
With Love,
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