This is a recent experience in my life, and it's the most vexing; imagine God thyself testing my patience. I have no words to describe this phenomenon, whether it is never-ending hellish suffering or just a smidgeon of it. Have you ever felt so much better that; a sound just stopped, perhaps from the water pump or simply because your old hard drive stopped spinning when you turned off your computer, and there is complete silence? There is a pleasure to it, as I have felt it every other time, the pleasure of complete silence, and guess what? For the past ten days, I've been yearning for complete silence. Like if there was a switch that would say "Hey, turn me off and the suffering would be over."; I would love to do that. At first, I thought it was a mere cold, it would go away in no time, everything would be fine afterward. But every other waking up from sleep was a disappointment. For instance, if there was a switch that said, "Hey, turn me off and the suffering will end," I would flip it. At first, I thought it was just a cold that would pass quickly and everything would be fine. But every other time I awoke from a deep sleep, it was a letdown.
I have been diagnosed with Tinnitus
A constant ringing in the back of my head. Imagine going to the doctor's office and having all the tests done, spending all that money, and not receiving a proper answer as to what caused this in the first place; he would simply tell you, "You're fine, young man; there's no infection or sign of hearing loss. Don't be too concerned and get some rest. You're just stressed out! "... But, I know I can hear it. And it never ends! I want this to end! Could someone please assist me with this? I've been searching the internet and it's only been disappointing. It was the worst three days of my life because I couldn't stand it. I couldn't get any sleep. It almost felt like chopping off your head would be preferable to living like this. Then came the fever, followed by a chronic cough; what a tense week. It's not that I've stopped doing what I need to do, or that I've taken a day off. I slept like a dead man all weekend, aided by sleeping pills, only to realize this is here to stay. Focusing on my day-to-day task was a nightmare! But I must do what I have to do. I eventually figured out white noise would help me focus during my work sessions. Some Spotify playlists came in handy; Who knew they would be my daily chores from now on.
What is Tinnitus?
To put it simply, have you ever heard electric static noise? Some sort of hissing, if you know what I mean! I've discovered that it varies from person to person and that it can be a hissing, clicking, or even buzzing noise. But for me, it's the constant electric static noise we get from a cheap phone charger or any electric connection. I've got them in both of my ears. It's not like you can just hold your ears and they'll go away! The sound will not go away; rather, as the blockage progresses, it will become louder.
What causes tinnitus?
It indicates a problem with the auditory system, which includes the ear, the auditory nerve, which connects the inner ear to the brain, and the brain parts that process sound. I am a very hygiene person who tries to stay as clean as possible, and yet I simply don't know what could have caused this to happen to me; I am still hoping that it was caused by the cold shower I took the other night. I don't listen to music at full volume; it's not in my nature; but here are a couple of possibilities for why this is happening. Ear and sinus infections, heart disease (or blood vessel disease), brain tumors (I really hope no). There are a lot of other possibilities that I'm not sure about. It started in my ear, but now I feel like I can feel it in my brain; literally inside my head.
Are there any treatments?
I did a lot of research on possible treatments for this and discovered that a customized set of hearing aids would help you to soothe the noise and hear better! Although, it's not like I'm having trouble hearing properly. White noise therapy is something I'm already doing; even as I write this, I'm listening to my go-to playlist to help me focus. And there are some more technical solutions that I'll skip because I don't want to bore you with them, haha. I'm following this video right now, and it's really helpful. I've been following this exercise; I'm not sure if it's actually helping or if it's just a placebo effect, but I'll keep my fingers crossed. Aside from that, I've been trying to stay as warm as possible by drinking everything hot and showering with warm water. I almost felt a burning sensation in the beginning, and I was like, "Don't tell me I've got covid now." hehe. I'm trying not to lose myself these days, and I'm hoping that staying calm within myself will help me get over this; there's always a chance!
Conclusion
With the presence of these noises, I nearly feel like a machine these days. I have the impression that we are living in a matrix, that we are a collection of automatons, and that we can malfunction in this simulation like a collection of codes, much as in our computers. I hope no one else has to go through what I'm going through. This type of issue can result in a variety of difficulties such as fatigue, stress, sleep problems, focus, memory problems, depression, anxiety and irritability, and headaches. I hope you're remaining physically and psychologically fit. Take my affection and take care of yourself. Love yourself before it's too late!