Sometimes I really can't help it. On certain occasions, mostly the bad types, I just start thinking and worrying too much about what could've been and what will be. If things will actually be okay at some point in life, does life really have a "happy ending"? Where am I headed in life? Am I even on the right path? You know, that usual poetic and filmy type of shit.
Tons of questions popping up every now and then. Many of these questions I've already answered to myself quite a long time ago, using different modified versions of the same exact answer.
Yet, when things start getting a tad bit vertical, leaving no space for me to rest my feet, making my life go downhill once again. Just moments later, a part of me decides to throw a barrage of the same exact questions towards me once again, asking for reassurance and re-corrections.
At this point I'm just out of answers, or maybe I simply do not wish to revamp my own words and the same damned answers of mine.
It all got so repetitive, that I've finally gotten used to it all I guess, I'm finally at peace with the noise. I am now able to ignore the unnecessary voices in my head, even when it comes to my own damn voice. I no longer find it necessary to answer every damn question that life, and my own mind throws at me.
For some things in life, this line down here surely is a fact...
Ignorance is bliss - anonymous
But I bet the credit goes less to the torturous repetition of these questions and ignorance alone.
I bet it leans more towards realization.
When I realized that I was taking up too much time and wasting a ton of energy thinking about the "bigger picture". When I had finally latched on to the fact of how much I was focusing more on the things that are way too distant from the present. Only then I could finally realize, that I might not even live to see that day, the day I so eagerly dream of living.
So, should I really be stressing this much?
I saw, the amount of time we people invest in thinking about the past and the future. We think, we worry, so much about what's gone and what's coming. We simply stop living in the moment and choose to dwell in the past and the future. And down the line, we end up forgetting about the present, we forget that our time here is very limited.
Present time, the ultimate gift, the only thing that's certain, the only time in life where every bit of power belongs to you and works according to you. Funny how we end up forgetting about this powerful gift. Simply because we're too busy thinking about the big losses we've taken and the bigger things about to take place in our lives.
The present sometimes can get a bit boring, I know. Because the present can only offer the little things in life and not many want the little things. No one likes to take the time to be thankful for what they already have. It might be a big healthy and loving family, having someone to hold, a friend who's always by your side, a fair bit of of walking-around money maybe, a few memorable moments with the buddies and so on.
When you for once list every part of your day and what the present has to offer, then the little things just don't seem to be as little as we always think of them to be.
Believe it or not, it's always the little things that keeps us faithful, slowly guiding us towards the bigger things in life.