Its already too late to go to university today. so I woke up and somehow freshened up and told my mom to give me breakfast, it was getting late. My mom looked at me with anger and said, "It's as if you're late for me." you sleep late at night and it's my fault if it's late. Mom, please let me eat breakfast first. Saying this, I got out of the home with angry.
Mama, will you go?
"Where will you go Afa?"
Then I took a rickshaw and went to University. I have heard that girls get on rickshaws and think of themselves as queens. Haha, anyway I sit up like that too.
হতে পারে কোনো রাস্তায়,
কোনো হুড তোলা এক রিক্সায়,
আমি নীল ছাতা নিয়ে দাঁড়িয়ে,
তুমি দেখলে না।
Wherever I go by rickshaw. Sing this song, a very favorite song. If anyone ever asks me what is my bad habit? Listening to music with headphones on all the time. My mom says Nilima, when will you get rid of this bad habit? I never thought I would be able to give up this habit. Because I love listening to music. After a while I came to the varsity area. Everyday i spent my most beautiful time with my friends on campus. But today everything looks a little different. Whenever I approached the varsity gate, not only the boys but also the girls looked at me and smiled. Before I got off the rickshaw, my friend Mitu got on the rickshaw.
Me: Why did you get on the rickshaw and i just came.
Mitu: Just get out of here,I have a talk with you.
Me: What happened?
Even those I don't know at varsity are smiling at me today. Mitu turned the rickshaw in a hurry.
I could feel that something very bad had happened. Mitu looked at me silently for a while, took out her phone and handed it to me. At that time, I was shocked to see myself on Mitu's mobile. My whole body went cold. I wanted to talk but I couldn't. There were tears in my eyes. Mitu wasn't saying anything. Before I knew it, the whole varsity and my neighborhood became known. Within minutes, life began to take a turn for the worse. That I had just come out of the home sanctified, got on the rickshaw and thought of myself as the queen. That Nilima's life is now in darkness.
Whenever I entered the streets of my neighborhood, the boys would see me and walk with their heads bowed. But today they are asking my demand. They like to see me that way. The girl that no one knew, today everyone is looking at her. Everyone in the area knew Nilima as the best girl, that Nilima is circulating on people's mobile phones today. Mitu took me home in a rickshaw. Entering the home, I could not look at my mother's eyes. I saw her and realized that she also knew everything. I entered the room and closed the door. I could not breathe in the dark room. Because the person I trusted the most, the person I dreamed of a thousand times, the person I gave up all my love for, made me a victim of human lust.
Thinking about all this, an SMS popped up on my mobile. My hand was shaking as I picked up the phone. The same video is now playing on my phone. Feel self-loathing, feel like I'm dying. The whole world has stopped for me. My mom is knocking on the door crying. I'm just wondering how to put myself in front of my mom. I have passed a week of my life through a terrible event by breaking the silence. Sometimes I hear from people around me why I haven't committed suicide yet. Neighbors also say that if they were in my place, they would have killed themselves long ago. They even provoke me to think that I am a shameless girl.