There is a saying that "Love may be blind, but friendship sees clearly and cares enough to speak." This is the case when you have to meddle in the relationship of two people who are in love with each other. It is very difficult to meddle in romantic relationship because of how delicate and fragile it is. The parties involved may see you as an enemy of progress or someone who have other motives. It is not one of the easiest situation to find oneself when you are caught between shedding some light on what you think about your friend's partner or keeping quiet.
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There is a high possibility that you don't like one or two traits, attributes, or behaviour of your friend's partner that makes you feel they are not a good fit. It is very tough and uncomfortable to see your friend in an unhealthy, toxic relationship and it is even more difficult when you're scared of calling their attention to it because you are afraid of their reactions. The immediate reactions will not always be an interesting one and it may even cause more damage than you can ever imagine like causing your friendship to come to an abrupt end.
It is very easy to spot a toxic relationship as a third-party but the person in the relationship will not easily spot the toxicity due to the emotions they are going through. Even when they spot the toxicity they may be reluctant to finding a solution or develop a coping mechanism. Just like people who have a million and one reason for staying in an abusive relationship. The moment you raise your concerns to your friend they may cut you off from their life totally or give you less access to personal issues. You're talking about their personal life and issues because you know too much - so they may see cutting you off as the best option.
However, there are some important points to note if you really want to help your friend or loved one see what they are not seeing about their partner or relationship. The first thing is to be mindful of your language, choice of words and manner of presentation. You may be doing more damage than good if you present the issue in a wrong way or even at a wrong time or place. You must be able to convey your message in the best way possible that will make them see what they haven't been seeing even though the signs are everywhere.
Nonetheless, if all your efforts to reveal the toxicity in your friend or loved one's relationship is making them to be excessively defensive or aggressive towards you, then you need to stop and let them discover the things you have called their attention to by themselves. You may be tagged as having ulterior motives if you are being persistent. You may start hearing comments like you're jealous about their relationship or you want to have their man or woman.