Are you feeling discouraged?
Have you come to a roadblock while pursuing some vital goal you'd hoped to achieve in your Life?
Good!
If you occasionally feel outmatched or overwhelmed by your objective, then you've probably chosen something worth doing. As somewhat of a masochist myself, I've realized that if my goals aren't really, really hard, I tend to lose interest fairly quickly. Hard goals are potentially worthy goals.
This phenomenon has been a bit of a bane to my existence. To counter this sensation, I've worked on a few other productivity and focusing skills to keep me on task to mastery or completion of said objectives.
More on that in a future post...
When we feel discouraged, we look at ourselves and the goal as the problem.
This is too hard...
I've bitten off more than I can chew...
Maybe this is just beyond my ability?
It's just not meant to be... (Barf. Have I mentioned that I don't believe in Fate?)
Instead, it might make sense to question your current approach to the goal. Often, upon running into an obstacle, we keep trying the same tactic repeatedly, hoping for a different result. We become frustrated. Agitated. And eventually, we throw our hands into the air and curse the Universe.
Great tactic! If that is, you enjoy the risk of being struck by lightning...
Like when a zipper gets stuck. What do we do? Yeah... We yank on the zipper a couple of hundred times, trying to free that tiny piece of cloth that's gobbled up in those insatiably hungry, steel tines. Still not unzipped? Yank harder!
Good plan.
I didn't want to wear that jacket anyway...
Your other, admittedly less sexy option?
Try a different tack. Rethink your approach to the problem. And then try a new solution. (A bar of soap might work. Google it.)
Regroup. Rethink. Reload. ReLaunch.
Understanding when you've reached an impasse is half the battle. And doing so before you angrily donate that expensive Canada Goose parka to Goodwill might be favorable to both your wallet and your overall mental health.
Perhaps your goal is a bit loftier than simply getting dressed. Maybe you've hit a wall in your career or a personal relationship. OK. This is admittedly a more complex sort of problem, but the underlying concept of Regroup, Rethink, Reload, and ReLaunch still applies.
ReGroup.
As much fun as getting frustrated is, I recommend against it. Allowing your failure to orient your Emotional State negatively is counter-productive. So... Don't.
OK. If only it were that easy... But it can, and should, be done.
Reset your priorities. Although your goal may be obvious, your path to accomplishment may not be.
For example, let's say you're trying to climb the corporate ladder, and you can't seem to get yourself promoted. Perhaps strengthing your enjoyment of and execution in your current role should become a higher priority than a promotion itself.
Why? If you're happier, you're likely operating at a higher level. Working at a higher level naturally means you're delivering better execution. And providing better execution makes you... please wait for it... much more promotable.
Getting yourself promoted is far more complicated and primarily out of your control. But if you're uncovering more enjoyment in your career? When delivering better execution within your current role? These are aspects that you have almost complete control over.
And if you aren't ultimately promoted? At least you've found greater fulfillment and Success while you've been cruelly overlooked. Not to mention that you've strengthened your resume and set yourself up for future opportunities elsewhere if need be.
In this particular exercise, perhaps you're able to remove the thorn in your paw over not being promoted. You've reset your priorities. You feel in control of your next steps. And you've managed to ReGroup and refresh yourself for the road ahead.
This is groovy stuff!
ReThink.
Keep applying the same solution? You'll likely wind up with the same outcome. I know - a brand new concept here every day, folks...
So, if we know this? Why do we keep doing this?
There are probably a few compelling reasons.
It's what we know.
Are you a member of the more mature audience? We tend to go with what we've learned and implemented previously throughout our Lives: the old Tried and True Approach - what has always (sorta) worked.
Set a goal. Map out a loose strategy. Fire away.
Doesn't work? Rinse and Repeat. Still doesn't work? Rinse and Repeat.
Still not working? You dry off and throw in the towel. Next goal, please...
This approach gets us to Nowhere reasonably efficiently.
For the Millenial in all of us, Welcome to YouTube. Want to Learn How to Build a Birdfeeder? YouTube. Want to Discover How to Make $1,000,000 Without Lifting a Finger? YouTube. How about 5 Easy Steps to Performing a Lobotomy on Yourself? YouTube!
Since the Internet-of-Things has arrived, there has been no shortage of colorful personalities in both print or video telling us how everything is done. Here are the Steps to Achieving Anything in this Life. And if they don't work? Whelp, YOU must be defective somehow because these steps have worked for thousands of regular, ordinary, gullible people paying $49.95 before you. (Maybe you need the Platinum subscription...)
Life isn't simple. Your results may vary. One size does not fit all... Not even Spanks.
Sometimes... Often... OK, most of the time, we need to try something else. And 'something else' might require a bit of thought and innovation. And it might require you to create a little space for yourself to think things through and ReTool. Even LeBron calls for a Time Out once in a while...
I'm going to make this work - damn it! - even if it drives me crazy! (If this is you, you've already arrived at Crazy... Say hello to my Ex while you're there...)
Ever try to keep a squirrel out of a bird feeder? (Without a pellet gun, that is...?) It's hard. They are furry and determined. Despite your elaborately designed safeguards, a squirrel will try 1001 crazy things to get into that sunflowery-seed Heaven! Each attempt at Breaking & Entering is slightly different from the previous one. But they'll keep trying until they either succeed, or you give them two in the hat...
They experiment. They iterate. And they're not chugging Jack Daniels or popping Xanax or crying to their Momma, either. While they're performing ariel acrobatics in pursuit of their prize, they are ReThinking and ReLaunching at an incredible pace until successful.
What do we do? Same thing. Same thing. Same thing. Same thing. Quit.
That's nuts!
My point? Be a squirrel. But stay the hell out of my damn birdfeeder!
We Artificially Limit Our Options.
If you're feeling stuck, it may also be because you're limiting potential options available to you.
It's this way or no way...
There are other alternatives. Allowing ourselves to brainstorm different ideas can break the logjams in our Lives. Even when many alternative routes seem silly or unworkable, sometimes it's the process of rummaging around that drives the solution.
With some of the teams I've witnessed in the past, there would be a handful of people hammering on the same approach, trying to find a way to make it work. And there would be one person firing off seemingly unworkable, often annoyingly unhinged, but creative ideas, from the fringes. What usually happened? (Besides thinking that one of your co-workers is entirely nuts...)
Some crazy, left-field idea would suddenly unlock a different aspect of the standard approach, and rays of sunshine understanding would suddenly stream in. Forcing folks to consider various options seems to jostle our conventional thinking just enough to allow for new, albeit still rational, ideas.
Move away from a stagnant contemplation of Strategy #1 vs. Strategy #2. Adopt a much more chaotic and outrageous WrestleMania of Multiple Theories Regarding Strategy (Sounds scientific, doesn't it?) approach. The firestorm of freak ideas can be like receiving a folding chair to the back of the head to breaking up our A-B switch way of thinking.
Talk about your roadblock with your closest friends. Run ideas by your Boss. Float possible solutions past the barista at your favorite Pot Shop. One of these fine folks might suggest something just crazy enough to work. Or they may be simply creative enough to jolt your stream of consciousness into a new way of looking at your dilemma and its potential solutions.
History is chock-full of nonsensical approaches to problems that led toward viable solutions. I'd list them out for you here, but this blog is free folks. Do your own damn research... I've got laundry to do.
ReLoad.
So, now we have ReGrouped. We've allowed ourselves to ReThink our options. It's time to ReLoad.
What new tools, training, or behavioral changes do we need to restart our attempt to climb Mt. Impossible?
The ReLoad Phase is essentially a refresh of our initial planning stage when we gather together all of our needed resources, upgrade or refine them, and prepare for launch. It's where we assemble and organize our plan and its components into a comprehensive master plan of attack.
What will we need?
Maybe you need to learn Excel or Python. Perhaps a new language: Spanish or C++. An upgraded LinkedIn profile. Certifications. Accreditations. Diplomas. Degrees. Or a new tattoo? (Wanna be an MMA Fighter? It would help if you had a new tattoo...)
Perhaps it's more money. More contacts. More access. More visibility.
Possibly we need to get fit. Get organized. Get involved. Or get focused.
Whatever it is that we need to get ready, it's during the ReLoad phase that we need to get IT. If Necessity is the Mother of Invention, then Preparation is the Mother of Ascension. (Wrote that, myself, folks...)
Perhaps during our refresh, we've had a chance to become refreshed. We've let go of our previous angst, we've chosen a new approach, and now we're loading up a new backpack full of fresh supplies for our revitalized journey to Success. (I'm accepting lucrative sponsorship deals from The North Face if offered, Universe.)
Doesn't the ring of this Revitalized Plan sound much better than the din of our ramming the Original Plan into the side of Mt. Doom for the hundredth consecutive time? Just toss that old plan into the lava, Frodo...
And once we're ready? Once we've reorganized? Once we're re-oiled and re-coiled?
ReLaunch.
Now that we're ready for ReLaunch, all of our old problems will melt away. Like when Facebook relaunched as Meta.
OK. Maybe not. But still, a fresh start is always better than a non-start. New Beginnings likely mean new problems, but that's alright. Having pushed the Reset Button, you're far more likely to successfully resolve new issues now that you're all fired up. Momentum and enthusiasm count for a lot when pursuing goals. Stagnation and Boredom only get you so far, after all...
A favorite tactic of mine is completely reevaluating every goal and ambition every New Year's Day. Honestly, the process begins well in advance of New Year's Day, but that fabulous holiday marks the Official ReLaunch of my New and Improved personal crusade every year.
For some years, nothing changes. After reviewing my endeavors, I am on track and poised for greatness. (It doesn't happen overnight, OK...) In other years, big or small alterations are incorporated into the blueprint and then rolled out on the First of the Year.
I feel revitalized and pretty jazzed up as January is born. But that feeling starts in October and intensifies as the holidays approach. It's like a three-month incubation period where I'm coiling like a spring. And then: Boing! January 1. Slinky unsprung!
However, you don't need to wait until some arbitrary calendar day to ReLaunch. You can pick April 27, or some random Tuesday, if you want to. What's important is that you allow yourself the opportunity to demarcate a New Beginning for yourself. It is a deliberate and defining moment when you grab that cup, fill it to the rim with your proverbial beverage of choice, and spill it all down the front of you in a triumphant display of resumed enthusiasm and poor hand-to-mouth coordination.
Nothing says Success like a big, ole Champagne stain on the front of your shirt... (Red wine stains say you're probably better off sober...)
When you're up against it. When progress towards your goals and dreams seem stalled or out of reach. When you've met your match - hit your limit - run out of gas - reached your ceiling - or encountered any other euphemism for temporary limitation in the pursuit of your dreams, goals, and aspirations...
Regroup. Rethink. Reload. ReLaunch.
Go ahead and Dream.
Find and Fire Up your Purpose.
Make a Plan to crush.
Take copious amounts of Action.
Why not Today, Friend? We're both here. We're both competent. And Today is the Best Day to get on with it.
Let's GO!!!
Cheers!
