This song has been in my head all morning. I woke up to it and I don't know the reason. I had resisted reaching for my earphones and blasting them on my device until I couldn't hold back any longer. So I decided to go with the flow.
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I have listened to this particular song, Charlie by Simi but I am yet to understand who this song was dedicated to. And I have stopped myself from searching for the answers on Google too. I want the realization to come naturally and I have a good feeling one of these days that it will drop. Like an Eureka moment!
I did think it was meant for her lover but today I have a feeling it was meant for her father. I am saying this part because I recently watch a movie,Mokalik,where she was featured in, and I was shocked to see that she acted in it. I did not think Simi does anything else than sing. And in that movie, the absence of a father was obvious since her mum had to sell food to take care of them and she fell in love with one of the mechanics in the workshops where her mum's business thrive.
I guess this is why, today, I am beginning to pay attention to the lyrics again and feel like she did this song for her dad. Especially when she mentioned all the birthdays he missed and how she cheers to the future he wouldn't be able to see since he's already dead. Speaking of death, it took a while for me to even understand that this person is dead.
You know when I thought the song was for her lover, I thought he was someone she loved and he left her. Not in a bad way, maybe, to another country to further his studies or work to cater for his family. So realizing the person in question might be dead makes me think it's her dad. Again, I haven't Google if her dad is alive or not or if there was a time she lost her lover in one way or the other.
Again, today, there's a bit of the lyrics that mentioned she walking down the aisle and Charlie isn't there to walk her down. It would seem as though Charlie was her husband and died or traveled far away. Or it could be her dad who wasn't alive to walk her down the aisle or was there but no more alive as she wrote the song.
This song keeps messing with my thoughts and I have decided to understand it by just listening instead of running off to the internet to find answers. It will feel good to get the message at some point and it might even be an accomplishment for me.
Well, something tells me the days of running away are over because I am about to look for the song on YouTube so I can share it with you. The only thing that can save me right now is if Simi did not do a music video for this song. Knowing her, she probably did. And this is where the magic of living with my imagination every time I listen to this song will be brought to an end.
Or do you think I should close my eyes and just copy the link for you? Won't I be tempted to watch? Just know that I have been able to move the thoughts of this song from my head to your eyes. And I feel better knowing that the insistent ringing in my mind throughout this morning has been put to good use.
If you are reading this and you have lost anyone to any circumstance, death or separation, especially if you did not get the chance to say goodbye or tell them how much you loved them, I am really sorry. And I hope that time will be able to heal your wounds and help you move on beautifully and strongly. Sending hugs and kisses.