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Deep inside us silent wars wage.
War that are masked by a facade
Silently hidden behind the walls of uncertainty.
Camouflaged by veils of fear.
It grows stronger roots with time
But deep within a longing stirs
A longing to to break free
A longing to escape.
A longing to face the silent wars
Then a journey of self-discovery starts.
With each bold step taken,
Echoes of struggles begin to fade away.
The veil of fear begins to melt away.
A new growth springs forth
A new change comes to be.
We all have problems, plights and silent wars we deal with every day. This is so because life itself is dynamic and unstable. In the deep dark parts of ourselves, there our fears, challenges and plights reside but most of the time we tend to camouflage them with the veil of fear while they make their residence permanent in us.
However, we long to fight these challenges, we long to let go, we crave to escape, we long to overcome them and we also want change. Then, we let fear and the chains of uncertainty hold us back. Like chameleons, we hide and disguise while we pretend that everything is alright as our fears and plights keep growing deeper roots in us. Do we want to grow out of it to make changes in our lives?
Yesterday, I was listening to a song titled ’Grow Out Of It by Charlie Oriain’ a British songwriter. This song was released last year. This song carries a powerful relatable message that causes one to look deep inside to self evaluate and make changes.
From the lyrics of this song, Charlie poured out himself as he talked about his struggles of self-identity and the fear of not being able to make changes in his life or evolve as a person. He also expressed how he camouflaged his fears, plights and problems inside while he kept pretending everything was fine. Like in the first line;
I dress all my fears in camouflage
This line means that his fears were behind a facade, which made it difficult for him to know what truly is his problem.
Also, he expressed how his uncertainty made it difficult for him to recognise his challenge to actually work on them or grow out of them. Everytime, he dreams to escape his plights, fears and challenges hoping that on the other side, he would find clarity, but his plights and fears always catch up with him.
Charlie also made me understand that as he struggled to make changes in his life, he encountered self doubt and wondered if he would grow out of it. He also experienced self-sabotage and regardless of his efforts, he still feels like he hasn't really grown out of his insecurities. In the end Charlie is hopeful that with many years to come, he would make it and fight through his challenges.
This song resonated with me so well. It made me realize that most atimes we are afraid of our vulnerability and fears to the extent that we camouflaged them behind a wall of pretense and façade, but in the end, it leads to difficulty in discerning what our challenges or problems are.
I remember dealing with some issues a few years back. I wanted to appear strong, I wanted to appear like I knew what I was doing with my life, and I want to appear like I am the best version of myself. This façade I used deceived me from not knowing that those issues were there, and how they needed to be addressed and worked on.
It was like I was living a fantasy and not the reality. By the time I discovered that the issue I was trying to cover up was still there, it was a bad blow out. Then I realized that I hadn't worked on the issue itself, I had not treated the problem. Eventually, I began to work on it, and with each passing day, I began to see changes and then there was hope. However, there were times that I felt I was doing the wrong thing, but I didn't give up.
Will you continue to hide behind your self made camouflage and not deal with your silent wars head on?
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