I got married to my best friend, but before this I was in several relationships that led to heart break and disappointment. At some point I gave up on love, I thought true love was just an illusion. I guess I tried so hard to find love instead of allowing love to find me.
My last relationship before I met my husband was really a heartbreaking experience. I remember this guy ( I will call him Dan in this piece) promising to give me the whole world and always treat me as a queen, oh I thought I had finally found the one I was waiting for. Dan wasn't who I thought he was , he was all nice and caring the first few weeks, but after one of our dates his attitude completely changed, I could remember he wasn't really happy with me insisting that I won't stop singing in the choir because I love singing and music to me is food to the soul. I told him that I have passion for music and it makes me happy, his reason for wanting me to stop singing in the church choir was because I won't have time for him , but I told him rehearsals is just two days out of seven so there is enough time, I then asked him if he would stop watching football with his friends but he yelled at me " why would I do that" . I told him love is about UNDERSTANDING and RESPECTING your partner's choices when they are not a bad choice.
Dan could go days or even weeks without communicating with me, I was always the one doing the calling or sending him text, when I ask him why he wasn't communicating with me he would say he was busy, I'm like you cannot be too busy to text the woman you claim you love. Communication is very important in every relationship if it is to work, I really don't know if i was asking for too much because I believe talking to your partner regularly is what you shouldn't find difficult if you truly love the person. COMMUNICATION is key in very relationship.
Dan never spent quality time with me even when we are together he was always busy with his phone, even when I was telling him how my day went or needed someone to advise me on something. I always felt bad , like I was talking to myself and it was always embarrassing. Paying attention or giving your partner a listening year is very important and warming, it's also a means of bonding.
I didn't trust Dan enough to tell him things about myself, I was like he says he loves me but his attitude is a complete opposite of that, I believe if you love someone your actions should show and not just words.
I had to break up with him because I felt I was the one forcing the relationship. After some weeks he came begging me that he misses me and he was a changed man and will learn from his past mistakes. I believed him thinking he had changed, but he became worse and I regretted allowing him back. I finally broke up with him and moved on with my life . I told myself that no more relationship, because I wasn't ready for another round of stress.
I have always known my husband, because we attend the same church and bare the same Name, I would say he was a friend, though we didn't talk much. We became close after one of his birthdays, we started talking and I got to know him better. Then he asked me if I would want to lift the no relationship embargo I had placed on myself, I laughed and said no. He smiled and said don't worry when the time is right you will lift it. I wondered what was going through his mind , I just smiled and said not in the nearest future.
We became close and he gave me all the attention I needed , he would listen to me talk about how my day went for hours and will always give me an advise when I did something wrong, I remember him asking me to apologize to a lady I had an argument with at my office , I was angry and insisted that the lady was at fault, my husband told me "Sometimes peace is more important than who is right or wrong" that statement struck me, the next morning I apologized to the lady, she was shocked and apologized too admitting that she was at fault. I became best friends with my husband, he respected me, my choices and he was so understanding. We talked atleast thrice a day,he was always ready to learn new things from me and I also learnt from him.
Then it was my birthday I told him the previous year I had a big party but I didn't want that this time around. He called and told me to get ready he would be taking me out I was like okay no problem. It was 8p.m and he came to pick me up and we went to a very classy restaurant and I was wowed at the ambiance of the place it was not like the regular restaurant, it was quite and one of Ed Sheeran songs was playing in the background, it felt so cozy. We talked at length while having our dinner, then he asked asked me if I would go into a relationship with him , I was shocked at first because he never mentioned it before,I told him to give some time to process the whole thing. I got home that evening smiling with butterflies in my belly, I had a flashback of our memories together and it was all beautiful. I said to myself this guy has really swept you off your feet,💕💕❤️ I then realized that all this while I had feelings for him but maybe I was just denying it. I thought to myself what could go wrong after all he is my best friend. I then thought all the characters and things needed for a relationship to work if he had displayed them overtime, I recalled how, Understanding, Respectful, Loyal, Caring , how he tries to communicate with me no matter how busy he is , how he listens to me, supports me in my area of passion, how he gives me his time and some of the sacrifices he has made for me . I picked up the phone and called him and when I said Yes to is proposal he requested I switch to video call , I did and guess what he was there dancing ,I just kept laughing.
I have come to realize that love still exist but it takes commitment and dedication to build it. Some of the ingredients needed to build love are Sacrifice, Communication, Respect, Understanding, Loyalty and Trust.😘😘🥰🥰
