Today I want to talk about some of the distraction that come between couples

PASSING PLEASURES

The pull is incredible, can you feel it? There is an undeniable pull away from your marriage and your mate. There will always be something pleasurable ready to pull you out of the orbit of serving and loving your spouse. Whether it is the lure of television or the pleasure of eating and sleeping or even to exercise, anything can become desirable and pull you away from keeping your mate in the front of your mind. Once you have settled for a second-hand relationship you will be more prone to seek pleasure outside of your marriage. Is your marriage one of function or friendship? Is it task oriented or a place of exquisite pleasure? Do you still find pleasure in your mate? When you think about him or her, do you feel a strong connection? The pleasure you find in other activities or things can be found once again in your mate.

DETACHMENT

It takes energy to attach ourselves to someone. But it's easy to detach, to give up caring. It takes little effort and can be very tempting to give up on your marriage, or at least on having a soul-mate marriage. Many people are care-less. They have few meaningful attachments, feel little passion, and seem to drift through life. Attachment to our mates and the energy to insist on becoming soul mates requires effort. Notice when you begin to detach and guard against it. Make the unspoken spoken. Speak up and speak out instead of withdrawing!

ATTACHMENT

While detachment is easy, attaching ourselves to things that make no demands in return also requires little effort. Without thought, we attach ourselves to things that mesmerize us - the Internet, television, even busyness. We live cluttered lives and then suffocate beneath it all. We seem oblivious to the amount of stuff we bury ourselves with those things that distract us from being soul mates.

PROCRASTINATION

I'll do it later, you tell yourself, though of course, later never comes. We promise ourselves we'll find time in the future, only to find that the future never arrives. We cannot afford to wait until later to attend to our marriages any more than we can afford to neglect our health or finances until later. We cannot afford to give our mates the attention they deserve later, for later will be too late. Time to make changes in your marriage, of course, is now. Today is the time to dedicate yourself to being the best mate you can possibly be, to go after the best your marriage can be.