These days I’ve been thinking a lot about the stuff we build in our own heads — mental constructs, (I guess it's an Existential discussion). Like, how real is this feeling I’m having right now? How much of it actually comes from me, and how much is just leftovers from all the “lessons” we were force-fed as kids?
Like that idea that burning leaves is bad.
So lately, my little side project has been hunting these mental constructs down one by one and reprogramming them. My main tool? Contradiction.
Take today: I stumbled across this pile of burnt leaves. My first thought was, “Oh wow, that looks kinda cool.” And then immediately, “Ugh, that’s such a bad thing to do!” Then I caught myself — why is it bad, exactly? I couldn’t come up with a solid reason. So I just sat there, face to face with my own feeling.
Maybe I fixed something. Or maybe I just got a bit better at noticing it. Either way, it’s a lifelong project — one contradiction at a time.
این روزها خیلی به برساختههای ذهنی فکر میکنم (فکر میکنم مباحث اگزیستانسیال بهش پرداخته). اینکه این احساسی که الان دارم چقدر اصیله؟ یا چقدر برگرفته از آموزههاییه که در کودکی به خوردمون دادن.
اینکه آتیش زدن برگ درختان کار بدیه؟
حالا کار من این شده که دونهدونهی این برساختهها رو پیدا کنم و اصلاحشون کنم، و ابزارم معمولاً تناقضه.
مثلاً امروز رسیدم به این کپهی برگ سوخته و احساس کردم چقدر جالبه و همزمان احساس کردم "چه کار بدی!" بعد به این فکر کردم که چرا کار بدیه؟! و دلیل محکمی پیدا نکردم و اینجوری با احساسم مواجه شدم. حالا یا اصلاح شده، یا بهتر شده و این پروسه تا آخر عمر ادامه داره!
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Height174 cm |  | Weight64 kg |  | Body Fat% |  |
Waistcm |  | Thighscm |  | Chestcm |  |
