Hello everybody on HIVE, and especially the Music Community. My name is Jasper and I'm writing (and singing) to you from Cape Town, South Africa.
This is my 17th week contributing to "Three Tune Tuesday", started by 
I am trying to stick to a set pattern, where I perform 2 cover songs (written by famous artists) and 1 original song (written by me) around a theme. This week I would like to pick the theme of "Christmas"! I can't believe this is the last Tuesday before Christmas, where did 2022 go?
Apologies that there is no microphone and amp today. There are two reasons for this... South Africa is actually going through rolling power-cuts and it was my suburb's turn when I sat down to record this. Additionally, I was on daddy duty and my baby daughter was sleeping peacefully and I definitely didn't want to wake her by being louder than necessary! Unplugged it is!
The first song I'm going to try is "All I Want for Christmas" by Maria Carey. Now I'm not going to deny that this is a fantastic song... the first 1 000 times... but here in South Africa it plays on every radio station and in every shopping mall constantly until it starts to sound like nails on a chalkboard! Why play a good song like this until everyone is sick of it? Are there no other pop songs with a modern take on Christmas? Well, then we should write some more! Here is the original, although I believe she did it AGAIN 3 years ago (Oh Lord make it stop!!):
The second song I'm going to try is "Silent Night" which is one of the more beautiful traditional Christmas Carols, although I do wish I had a whole choir of carollers with me on it! What is your favourite Christmas Carol? Here is Kelly Clarkson and some other great singers tackling it, because I'm sure people have been singing it since before videos have been there to capture it:
Finally it is time for my song, which I am going to call a "Semi-Original" because it is a parody of "Gangsta's Paradise" by Coolio feat. L.V. Here is that video if you aren't familiar!
My parody is called "Santa's Paradise" and I hope it gets you looking forward to Christmas this weekend, and convinces you that you had better get on the "Good" List. For once, I'm going to wear hats during an original song... The santa hat for when I am the Big Man himself, and some reindeer antlers for when I am a poor reindeer just trying to get a better deal on the job!!
Before I go: Please look out for my weekly cover request post on Thursday! If you make a song request in the comments, and then I attempt the song, you get rewarded with 50% of that post's rewards in HP! Please have a think about what song you would like me to tackle for you?
Lyrics for "Santa's Paradise" (Parody of "Gangsta's Paradise by Coolio feat L.V.)
As I walk through the valley, towards the North Pole
I take a look at my job and realise it's quite old
Coz I've been delivering presents so long
Even Mama Clause thinks my mind is gone
But you never get a present if you don't deserve it
So you better be good, to be bad is unheard of
You better watch out where you walk and where you talk
Or you and your homies will get lumps of coal.
Well I really hate to trip but I've got to go
I feel my underarms smell of chimney smoke fool
I'm a milk-and-cookie-eater homies wanna be like
So you better be good and say your prayers tonight...
Been spending most their lives living in the Santa's Paradise
Been spending most their lives living in the Santa's Paradise
Have you heard the situation they got me facing?
I'll tell you 'bout it now but be discreet
Coz there's something going down with the reindeer...
Too much television watching has made them queer
Now they're educated fools with money on their minds
They wanna go on strike and rob me blind
But I told them puny little under-sized wankers
That my shotgun is loaded don't arise my anger fool!
Venison is just a gunshot away
I was getting kinda tired of cookies anyway!
There's twelve of them now but I only need ten
The first two trouble starters won't be seen again!
(Reindeer sings:)
Tell me why are we so blind to see
That the ones we hurt, are you and me?
(Back to Santa)
Shut up Rudolph BLAM!
Been spending most their lives living in the Santa's Paradise
Been spending most their lives living in the Santa's Paradise
Power and the money, money and the power
A monopoly has gotta be the way to go now!
While the rest of you fools have the recession blues
I only work once a year and I've got nothing to lose!
I get cookies from every home in the land
And brandy and coke from Bloubergstrand
And so my friends I can honestly say
Year after year I'm on the gravy-sleigh...
Been spending most their lives living in the Santa's Paradise
Been spending most their lives living in the Santa's Paradise
▶️ 3Speak