Music has changed over the course of our lives alot. Not just in terms of sound, style, vibe, but also presentation. Growing up decades ago, most of it came in a format that's become increasingly rare these days: the album.
Whether a byproduct of internet culture and social media trends that altered an orientation towards singles as attention spans have shortened, business strategy reflecting that which has catered to more musical packaging in shorter form, changed priorities & approaches of artists, all of the above, or other mysterious reasons/causes, fewer artists are making and releasing albums. And of those coming out, there seem to be increasingly few that just have the same sort of magic of the greats that my 'older' generations grew up with.
Rewind back to the 60's & 70's... holy good God, were there ever some fucking amazing albums. Even growing up in the 80's and 90's, there were many that just etched their ways into the fabric of our youth and souls. Not as 'collections of singles,' but entire works of art that made impacts, standing the tests of time as legacies that will forever live in our hearts & memories.
In the 2000's, there were certainly still some gems coming out. But the further we've progressed technologically since - which has wonderfully levelled the playing field with access to both the tools for anyone to make top-quality music with a laptop and international audiences/markets without the need for record labels - something slowly happened. And while there still are plenty of artists making albums, they represent a smaller & smaller amount of the actual total music coming out - and just ain't hitting the same way albums used to. To be frank, not even close.
In spite of having grown up on albums, in this day & age of singles, it feels kind of surreal to be making an album...
Music was always a foundational pillar in my life. And I can't remember exactly when, but it probably woulda been sometime in either my late teens or early twenties that I recall something of a 'vision' jotted down in a notebook with the number seven - seven albums, that I'd release. I'd been playing, writing songs, and amateurishly recording on a 4-track tape recorder at that point - possibly having started making some beats on an Akai MPC 2000XL. And I don't think there was any clear idea of what type(s) of albums they'd be, but that number seven made some imprint in my psyche.
Fast forward... after having 'wasted' my twenties on other things, I finally started diving into Ableton at 28. Maybe five years later, hundreds of mediocre ideas started and a few dozen good ones completed, I'd officially released my first EP on streaming platforms. But albums... they still felt a ways off. An album felt like a big deal. A responsibility. Not something to rush prematurely while still just 'experimenting' and transitioning from amateur to pro, but something that really mattered - especially remembering the magic albums used to have, and wanting to settle for nothing less with my debut one.
Producing has been a rough ride. The creative process ain't always smooth or easy, and it's taken 14 years to attune to the waves and find a groove. Since, there's been a few more releases - some singles, another EP (embedded for listening below), another I'm reluctant to call an "album" (embedded above) with it feeling almost more like a mixtape of shorter idea sketches rather than full-length "songs," and another that was a sort of loose repackaging of singles. Though the question lingered: when is the actual ALBUM coming...? In 2020, the answer seemed to start presenting itself with a wave of ideas that felt fitting... though timelines...? Ha. "Surrender to the process."
Then, surprisingly, over the last few months, there was an emergence.
That loosely-herded collection of random singles... well, it demanded a death & rebirth of sorts. I'd named it "Rebirthed" - having revived and remastered the tracks. But there were a few other of my singles that my distributor ended up taking down for some metadata reasons. I've also been in a longer wave of re-mixing & remastering existing projects, making some big progressions - so contemplated just re-released Rebirthed with the extra songs added in, still just a loose collection, not something that felt like a cohesive album. But then somehow in the process, other tracks got pulled into the picture for consideration. Through waves of weeding through hundreds of ideas started, resolving to send those to the grave that felt like psychic deadweight, a few jumped out as prospects to join the expanded Rebirthed project. Over a few rounds testing out song ordering, their place solidified. And to my surprise, there were a few mornings I woke... with others in mind, as though something speaking that they too, belonged. And they did.
I would've never logically thought all these songs would've fit together for an album. Hell, I never saw this as an album at first. And the Rebirthed concept being based on older remastered songs... well, that's required adaptation, with newer stuff joining - perhaps not aligned based on the original meaning, yet still coherent in the alchemical vibe of "rebirth." But, so goes the creative process sometimes - projects taking on their own life & evolution.
And as continuing to put in the work refining the songs, it's been a fascinating journey to observe that evolution in motion.
Not just hearing and feeling the maturation of the songs individually through the numerous iterations, chiseling away at the finest of details as they grow in clarity, power & potency. But also observing their co-emergence into the larger project as a cohesive whole. To see & sense the dissolution of rigid boundaries between "separate singles" as they morph into distinct yet coherently flowing extensions of a unified expression. To witness the process as something I'm not so much in control of, so much as a steward of - surfing the waves of each session as though intuitively guided to craft the tracks as they want to be... and as the album wants to be, with "the sum greater than its parts".
This piece of work as whole has definitely been something different...
While it's become increasingly common for more artists to play all roles of writer/composer, performer, producer, and engineer - overseeing the entire lifeline of an album from conception to mastering - there's still often been somewhat of a separation between the production and engineering stages. After all, those are typically three entirely separate roles in the music industry - producers handling the producing, mix engineers handling the mixing, and mastering engineers handling the mastering. There are musical innovations possible as those boundaries are dissolved, however. When the engineering becomes integral to the production, not outsourced to a "pro" for them to refine it to "industry standards," but is foundational to/in the architecture of an artpiece's sonics.
To some degree or another, this is often true to many productions, as the artists/producer is always making choices based on sonics reliant upon engineering - the sound design, tonalities of instruments, samples and effects used. Somewhat more rare, are the producers/engineers whose engineering technique & style add dimensions of artistry to distinguish the art as something differently altogether - not just songs technically-supported to industry spec, but masterpieces with distinctly unique sonical identities/aesthetics.. Phil Spector's "wall of sound" that was absolutely groundbreaking in the 60's, Quincy Jones' work with Michael Jackson, and Dr. Dre's meticulous refinement of his bar-raising 'The Chronic 2001' album may be among the major examples. Although there are surely others who didn't fly as high on the pop radar as well in a variety of genres/niches - styles in underground hip hop that gave a characteristic grittiness; the whole house music scene blossoming consequential of the adoption of the 808 & 909 drum machines, a whole plethora of drum & bass, dubstep, and EDM sub-genres advanced with key players, technologies, and techniques.
I may not have the audacity to claim my work may be in these same leagues... though perhaps would do well with a bit more confidence and boldness to dare, given they're the type of aspirations I've kinda always felt drawn towards - and kinda have been acting upon with my own production. I always felt 'called' to create something different - and have been doing so. It's taken decades to see it - yet as observing this album creation process, it's undeniable.
I've struggled to answer "what kind of music I make" when asked, as it doesn't fit any particular genre or style - the influences towards some songs might be more apparent than others, yet there are few that'd fit neatly into any genre. And categorization with this album might be even more difficult, with around 18 tracks spanning a broad spectrum of sounds, it would've been nearly unfathomable to myself a few months ago as to how they could possibly fit together in/as one project. Yet, there revealed, came the beauty of the creative journey - the evolution of the project, guiding me. The answers to "how the fuck could all these songs started at various points over the course of a decade that are so drastically different from others stylistically work together," presenting themselves piece-by-piece.
And those are only answers that could've come through the dissolution of boundaries between the production & engineering. That could've only come through the development process as an engineer - revisiting the songs time & time again, rebirthing them through/as the ongoing iterations of who I've been becoming through the refinement process.
Over the years, I've heard many producers emphasize the importance/relevance of simplicity in productions. And oh boy, have I ever broken the "rules" there. Lol. A number of this album's production are most definitely NOT simple. Many have taken this long because they're complex as fuck - whether the symphonic projects I'm re-mixing or tracks I deleted the original project folders for and thus am going at them as seriously heavy-duty remastering.. Either way, previous versions of their mixes never did them justice, and it's taken a long time to develop & practice the capacity for such degrees of refinement of such complexity. There are drastic differences between a modular home that can be built in a couple days, and the architectural masterpieces whose finest details take months & years to sculpt to spec. The beat a producer/artist makes in a couple hours and the compositions ending up performed by 100-person symphonic orchestras are two entirely different worlds. Each may have their place, neither "better" nor "worse." Just immensely different. (And in many ways, the simpler stuff probably is better - more raw, vulnerable, relying solely on the heart & soul of a song than production/engineering technicality.)
Were I to tally up all the hours put in sculpting the finest details of these tracks, it'd be easy to question my sanity; whether I'd been correct to release (some of) them as they were previously and move on. And throughout these latest months, the question continually comes: "when is enough enough? How much fucking further? Am I beating a dead horse? Does this actually matter? Is this just perfectionistic obsession over & addiction to micro-detail?" But... there's also been a steady stream of progressions unveiling WHY I've kept going. Through each hyperfocus wave, there's been the direct feedback of why such attention to detail is essential - how with each iteration, something larger has been coming together as each of these pieces slowly come into place - both as their own and as part of the whole. How with each progressive round, the versions are significantly better than the last. (That said with exceptions - such as thinking I'm nearly done, only to realize I slacked on properly checking against reference tracks, went way too fucking conservative with the low end, and it'll be at least a few more days to fix. Ha.)
The complexity of soundscapes - each is its own unique world & challenge. And then mixing them to ensure a cohesive flow - imparting a common sonic fingerprint while jumping from style to style, weaving stylistic threads in the engineering while the songs differ so greatly from others in their palettes of production elements... oh man. Not a lightweight endeavor. But one forcing a serious up-level.
Over the years, I've been fascinated with architecture & design - drawn to the masterpieces of villas in Bali, highly refined mountain chalets, and luxury homes found in Architectural Digest and such publications. And the deeper I've gone with audio engineering, the greater the appreciation for architecture in all its forms - music included. Decades ago, I had no fucking idea the degree of refinement undertaken in professional productions; I may have known of EQ & compression - but couldn't have fathomed the countless hours of experimentation required to unlock access to seeing & hearing the most subtle nuances of 0.3db cuts & boosts and distinct characteristics of a wide range of different types of compressors and millisecond differences in their attack & release times. Even years into producing, I remained clueless to the level of micro-geometry effectively present as sculpting sounds - not just individually, but as alchemical elements in the larger whole.
And the further I go, discovering the profound differences all these micro-details add up to, the more humbled I am - confessing that I still probably actually have no clue of the type of mastery going into the architecture & design of properties I find breathtakingly inspiring. The immense time put in by countless different experts in their respective domains - not just the architect and interior designer, but the woodworks-men dealing in the finest details of timber & cabinetries, masons carving raw stone into works of art weaved into the core structure and its decor, and God only knows who all else whose lifetimes of devotion culminated in the richness of quality, tones & textures of materials brought together flawlessly in the final product(s).
As the saying goes, "master one thing, and you master them all." Compound with Tesla's, "if you want to know the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration..."
I won't make claims to have "mastered" anything or cracked the secrets of the universe, but can attest: diving continually deeper into audio engineering, architecting sound, continues to expand consciousness in ways words can't even begin to describe. (And the undertaking of this latest album has been unlocking levels I didn't even know existed a few months ago.)
In ways, this still may not be the album I "envisioned" as a "debut." And oh hell yeah, there are all sorts of 'insecurities,' 'self-doubts' and such as time comes closer to its completion and putting out for the world to hear.
I know it's something most people wouldn't "get." Too different. Unpredictable. Eclectic. Unique... in a way not fitting conventional tastes.
But it is what it is. What it wants & needs to be.
And I don't expect anything from it. (And what could I, knowing that I probably ain't gonna do much at all in regards to 'marketing & promotion' - clueless to where I'd even start and really not wanting to put myself in any sort of spotlight, uninterested in promoting myself as an artist at this point.)
Which, maybe itself is a win. After all, parents can have all sorts of expectations for/of their children, but ultimately, the kids gotta go off and live their own lives. Maybe it's the same with art sometimes. For as much as mind & ego might want & try to control things, perhaps sometimes the artist's role is to simply nourish their babies until grown... then release them into the world to do whatever they will, whether that looks like "success" or "failure" in through lenses measuring in popularity metrics.
(Then again, that could also be seemingly sound logical justification for abdicating self-responsibility for marketing & promo that could still be essential to their proper launch in the world - putting in over a decade of heart & soul in the creation, only to quit three feet from gold due to laziness & self-sabotage, doing the work a disservice by failing to complete the final steps of the larger processes. Then again... surrender to the unique process. Maybe if there's no juice for marketing at this point, better not to force it. Maybe few will hear it now, but something will pop at a later point in different projects and some will find their way back to it then in "perfect timing" or some shit. I don't fucking know. Ha.)
In any case, the making of an album kinda is proving itself as something 'special.'
There's alot of growth in it.
Not just as an artist/producer/engineer, but as a person. It's a whole different process than just making music or singles, requiring whole different types of patience, discipline, perseverance, discernment, skills, etc. Holy jeezus the patience, lol.
Yada, yada, yada. So goes the process.
It's one with twists, turns, highs, lows, setbacks, and surprises. But one that's been quite deeply satisfying. That leaves me stoked as going to bed at the end up the day, enthusiastic about getting back to it the next. Perhaps that is the success, irregardless of how many/few people hear the final resulting album, or how satisfied or dissatisfied I am with it at the end - opposite extremes, between which I'll no doubt fluctuate between regularly as listening back to at different points in time. Guaranteed, I'll go through moments both loving and fucking hating it.
And hey, IF there are never more than a handful who actually hear/enjoy it, at least it was done. That in the day & age of industrialized singles competing for 15 minutes of fame, I fulfilled upon the desire/calling to make album I'd be stoked on leaving as part of my musical legacy, leaving some small artistic contribution of something unique, infused with heart & soul.
Y'all will surely be among the first to know/hear when it drops... ⏳🙏💫