Sketch by Maho Kagaya
日本語は↓
I wrote this one in Japanese originally so the feeling may be a little different from my usual writing
——-
“You’re greedy!” a new friend who came to the show said.
“All right, I guess I am _,” was all I could answer.
I am greedy.
With an acoustic guitar, I want to resonate with the voices of soil, trees, and water.
With electric guitar and effects, I want to resonate with the sounds of the sky and the universe.
I was talking about music, but life is the same, isn’t it?
Greedy! And that’s fine! I don’t think it’s a bad thing—if there’s no malice, if you think about other people, if you always have the feeling of wanting things to be better. As long as your sense of satisfaction isn’t completely dependent on results.
I think everyone can be kind—to the world, to others, to themselves—and still be greedy!
But this time’s live show… I was too greedy.
I wanted to do everything at once, and it wasn’t very realistic.
All I can think is, “I’ve still got a long way to go.”
There were parts I was extremely satisfied with, but what I wanted to convey didn’t come across well.
For Resonance Experiment #1, the goal was to naturally blend my songs with jams, and I think I passed that one reasonably well.
This time, the goal was to create chaos while still having most of the parts resonate.
The result: even when the inner voices called I + You could hear each other, I felt there were quite a lot of brain-made barriers.
The voice of the Everything part felt hazy and unfocused.
My guitar work and planning weren’t enough.
I started wondering if trying to break down a form that doesn’t even exist yet is meaningless.
It’s tough. Too tough to even put into words.
Why is this so difficult!?
But… it’s difficult because I’m greedy.
I don’t just want everyone to have a good time—I want to light a fire, I want hearts to move. If that’s the goal, then of course it’s hard…
Even knowing that, it still hurts a little.
Thinking, “At this age, I’m still only at this level.”
But I’m not blaming myself. Five years ago, I might have lost confidence and sunk into it for a long time. Now, I just want to improve what can be improved. That’s all.
I don’t care about results.
Even if I want good results, I don’t dwell on them. I only think about what I can do.
I absolutely won’t do things I hate.
I won’t break my own rhythm. I’ll take care of my body.
And while doing that, I’ll properly do what I can do.
I don’t know if I’m saying something strange, but that doesn’t matter either.
I want to keep expressing my true feelings—gently, and with everything I’ve got.
At the very least, Resonance Experiment #2 was an incredibly good mirror.
I had a great time playing with Egu-san!
I’d be happy if we could resonate and experiment again slowly—with music, conversation, ice cream, and coffee!
To the friends who came and the friends who couldn’t make it—thank you so much.
I’m truly grateful 🙏🙏🔥🔥❤️❤️
I’ve been trying to to update my music focused YouTube more often with live music and recordings, experiments and maybe some documentaries at some point. Please check it out!
(:」∠)_ i am the rain
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Self-Demolished Self-Conception
Σ（ﾟдﾟlll）Kidnapping Myself
「欲張りだね！」ライブに来てくれた新しい友達が言って「そうだね_」と答えるしかない。僕は欲張りです。アコギターで土と木々と水の声と響いて、エレキとエフェクターで空と宇宙の音と共鳴したい。
音楽の話だったけど、人生もそうでしょう。欲張り！それはそれでいい！悪いことじゃないと思う、悪意がないなら、他の人を考えれば、いつもよくなりたいというような気持ちがあれば。満足が結果に完全に左右されないかぎり。
みんな世界と他の人と自分に優しくて欲張りでいいと思う！
でも今回のライブは欲張りすぎたなあ。全部今やりたくてあまり現実的じゃなかった。
「まだまだだなあ」しか考えられない。 いいところはめちゃくちゃ満足したけど、伝わりたいことがうまく伝わってない。
響鳴実験 # 1の目標は自分の曲とジャムを自然的に混ぜることでそこそこ合格だと思いました。今回の目標はカオスを作ってもほとんどのパーツは共鳴できること。
結果は: I+Youっていう心の声お互いに聞こえても脳みそで作られた障害が結構あると感じた。Everythingというパーツの声はモヤモヤだった。
ギターもプラニングも足りなかった。形がないまま形を潰そうとして意味ないんじゃないかと思ってきた
きつい。伝えられないほどきつい．こんな難しい！？
でも。。。欲張りだから難しい。みんな楽しい時間を過ごすだけじゃなくて火をつけたいから、心が動いてほしいから、難しいって当たり前のことでしょう。。。
それ分かってもちょっとつらい。この年でまだまだこんな程度とか。でも自分を責めているわけない。5年前なら自信がなくなって長い間落ち込むことになったかも。 今は改善できるところは改善したい。それだけ。
結果がどうでもいい。いい結果が欲しくても考えはしない。できることだけを考えてる。
絶対に嫌なことはしないけど。自分のリズムも壊さない。体を大事にする。そうしながらできることをちゃんとするね。
まあ変なこと言ったかどうかわからないけどそれもどうでもいい、本当の気持ちをいつまでも優しく、思い切り伝えたい。
少なくとも響鳴実験 # 2はすごくいい鏡でした。
Eguさんと遊べて楽しかった！またゆっくり音楽と話しとアイスクリームとコーヒーで共鳴と実験できれば嬉しい！
来てくれた友達も来られなかった友達も、感謝してます。ありがとうございます🙏🙏🔥🔥❤️❤️
音楽のチャネル今から頑張って全部の音楽と関係あるビデオを合わせるようにしますからぜひみてください！
(:」∠)_ i am the rain
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Self-Demolished Self-Conception
Σ（ﾟдﾟlll）Kidnapping Myself