I can feel the wave again, so many of us riding it together. The word is freedom. It rings out in a million voices, each one with it's own version, it's own meaning.
I feel the shackles loosening. You'd think it'd be cause to celebrate, and it is, but after so many false calls, after so much being trained to believe in our own limitations, it's going to take some time to figure out what this means.
It doesn't mean all problems disappear, it means that we will be able to learn how to navigate these turbulent oceans.
I find myself surrounded by people I admire and respect, people who others admire and respect, no pyramidal structure, no gatekeeping, just a bunch of people living life and weaving something together that they are hardly aware of.
And just like that I decided it was time to stop messing around and release the 3rd part of my most recent performance in December, and get back to work on my new songs. Things that should take a month took a few hours, because when you move from inspiration, the hurdles just move right out of your way and you know what to do.
My performance filmed surprisingly well considering how awkward my MCing was. The nice thing about editing is that you can cut all that shit out. I kept some mistakes and awkwardness in just for authenticity sake, but this really shows me what I'm capable of if I focus.
Just make each part sound 15% better and somehow everything is 1000% more impactful. What if I go another 15%? And another?
Everything is within reach.
Pieces falling into place, not all of them as expected, but each with it's own gravity, it's own adherence to the desires and fears of those they effect.
I wriggle my way around learning how to move my hands and feet. This is freedom.
I vibrate my throat and move my mouth to transfer ideas from my system to your system. This is freedom.
I drop a ball from the rooftop to the ground below, just to see how high it bounces. This is freedom.
I dream of becoming, and put my efforts towards that becoming. This is freedom.
Life pushes up against me and shows me hardship and I choose to keep going, to go harder, to devote myself. This is freedom.
At first I thought giving myself rules was the opposite of freedom, but then I realized that those rules weren't rules at all, they were a system that belong to me, that could carry out my will. They are cells that animate a body.
These are different from the rules we don't agree to, or the ones we end up stuck in due to conditions we agreed to before things changed. We can adapt and change to fit the situation and do so of our own volition.
Just as I begin to realize this, I hear it said back to me through another's lips:
"Discipline and freedom seem like opposites. In reality they are partners. Discipline is not a lack of freedom. It's a harmonious relationship with time" - Rick Rubin
A few days pass and the voice of a band I love keeps the flame burning as they always do with a brand new song:
"Dance, Dance, Dance, Dance, Dance - Now
There is nothing that binds you
A song melts the ice
You begin to walk
….
Is this that thing they call Freedom?"
-Gezan
I can't help but think of my of my own lyrics that I wrote two months earlier and how obvious this wave is that we are all riding.
"Burn
burn it down
this house and all the ghosts that haunt it.
Wind
carry me
on to wherever you'll have me
Life
cover me
show me all your darkest secrets"
-I+Everything (me)
The song is about someone praying for a way to break out of captivity and finally finding the means to free themselves.
I'm excited to finally share it with the world. This is it's very first public incarnation. We will be polishing it along with 4 other songs of healing. I will be woring on lyrics and arrangements on those songs over the next few weeks and by March I hope to sit down and try to record at least a demo.
Here it is:, all 10 minutes of it:
and in case you missed the previous parts of the show, here is the last one:
A few other songs up on all streaming platforms, just search "Sun Shone Blue"!