Today I got a package in the mail and it completely changed the course of my day and my life.
It was a multi effects guitar pedal that I ordered two days ago. I had previously stayed away from these kinds of pedals because some people claim that these are not used by serious musicians, or at least not relied on heavily.
I believed that and tried to buy individual pedals for $150-300 each. I didn’t have the money to buy those randomly and I didn’t know which ones I wanted because I hadn’t really have a chance to try any.
So I picked up a few essentials I knew i wanted slowly over time… a delay, a distortion, and finally a reverb…but I didn’t understand how important voltage was and destroyed both my delay and distortion pedals by the time I got a reverb pedal.
….where was I to come up with another $400 for the ones I wanted, and maybe a wah and fuzz pedal…oh and also an octave pedal and a whammy and a loop pedal…never mind that I needed a new amp and a better guitar. It never ended, and it felt like I wouldn’t be able to play a show unless I settled for so no name brands and hoped for the best.
That’s when I found a cheap multi effect pedal sitting in my closet. I don’t know where it came from, I think it was given to me by a friend 4 years ago and I forgot about it because I was still playing acoustic then.
So I plugged it in and got a taste for a bunch of different sounds I had never played with before and felt the sound was good enough for what I want to do.
Was it perfect? Probably not but I can’t even tell the difference between an analog classic pedal and one of these so I doubt most of the audience will. The only people who will know are musicians, and if the song is good enough the decent ones will forgive me.
Most importantly I want to make music I love. I had been too influenced by the stupid ideas of others and it held me back from playing electric guitar for 15 years. I had it in my head that I needed a $3000 set up to sound good when really my junk electric guitar I bought for $50 and junk amp for the same price , and a $30 used pedal would have been enough, not ideal but totally enough.
After practicing a few times I realized there was a short in the multi effect pedal and I wouldn’t be able to use it for a show. Finally I had gotten a loop pedal and a new delay and reverb (only some distortion or fuzz missing from the equation) and I was out of commission already. At that time my bank account was at $70 and I was trying my best not to sell crypto so I hesitated to buy anything.
But a few payments came in and work got a bit more reliable and so I jumped to buy a newer version of what I was using, the Zoom M2X.
Maybe one day I’ll be able to hear the difference between this and some premium pedals but for now, I can play good music with this!
It’s actually better than just buying a distortion pedal because now I can play around with phasers and flangers and chorus and wah.
Will musicians not take me seriously? Fuck them! I’m an artist first and foremost and I have to make use of what I have access to. If I only have 3 paints to paint with then I will make something brilliant with those 3 colors.
I wonder what I would have created already if I hadn’t been so influenced by the ideas of other people. I try thought my first release was the most important because I wanted to make a good first impression.
But in an attention economy no one even cares if it’s your first album anymore, they’ll only really pay attention once they have heard something they like. So if they don’t like you, they’ll forget about you and you have another shot next time.
I thought I needed to understand tone and mixing better or have money to pay a producer but I listened to one of my favorite experimental Chinese folk albums by Xiao He yesterday and the production is sub-par. I still love it!
It reminds me of when I was 21 and I thought good music had to be more than 4 chords but then I heard Neutral Milk Hotel’s In an Aeroplane Over the Sea and the whole album was brilliant timeless four chord gems. Or back when I was 17 and I thought you had to be good at an instrument to be a real musician but then I heard Bjorks Homogenic and she touched deep into my soul.
I’ve found my artistic path the past few years and I am coming to realize everything else is a distraction.
I cried to my own song today. That is all this is about. That is the goal.
If I can make something that moves me I’ve succeeded. If I feel it’s the most mature version I can put out in a reasonable amount of time, it’s ready to be shared. If I develop it further in the future I can always re-release it and none of this needs to be planned before hand.
If I can’t make myself cry or jump with joy, that’s ok too, as long as each few pieces get closer to doing so. I am documenting the process of life in this body and all I can create is what I end up creating. Of course I can always do better but there is no reason to get stuck in in a perfectionist rut.
I want all my music and writing to be for me first and foremost, a challenge to become better, a chance to heal, an exploration of my own potential and of the world.
I hope to have a live show sometime next month. I will talk with two bar owners I’m friends with at the end of this month.
Onward! 🏴☠️🔥❤️
(And please check out my music channel and subscribe if you like it even a little bit)
