The Immaterial Things

I am a little shy writing about this because I think this is probably one of the first things I should have known after becoming a minimalist. But then it took an encounter with my little sister of 16 years to get me to pay attention.

She was helping me fold clothes that I do not need for donation, and then she asked about something going on in my life. I replied with a belittling comment about myself, and she also replied back, “then add that feeling to the clothes because I don’t think you need it.” Honestly, I was stuck for a second hearing that come from her pretty little mouth.

I’m not sure if she understood what she said, but it was so clear to me. And in that split second of reflection, I realized it was so easy for me to let go of material things. I really am in no way attached to the things I own at the moment. I could have this pair of shoes today and tomorrow; I would be giving them out because I don’t need them anymore. I could have this dress today, and tomorrow, when it serves me no purpose, I give it out to someone who needs it. And those are just material things, so what about the immaterial ones?

The emotions that are not serving me any purpose? Those feelings that are not helping me become a better person. Those traits that I don’t need? Why am I not letting go and unlearning them? I could have used just letting go, but then letting go of a trait doesn’t mean you’ve unlearned it. I could let go of a grudge between someone and me, but until I have unlearned that behavior, I might still find myself at square one.

I could let go of a painful memory that has been haunting me since childhood, but until I unlearn not to hoard such memories, each similar encounter I have in life is going to get stored and then back to square one. And that has been me: hoarding immaterial things. The funny part is sometimes we let go of the emotional weights those around us bring into our lives but forget about the ones we put on ourselves.

When we talk about minimalism, we are mostly focused on how much physical decluttering we do at home, in our wardrobes, letting go of clothes we don’t need. How often we organize our kitchen shelves and how we are not living materialistic lives. And I understand that it is easier to keep track of that because that’s what our eyes get to see every day.

But I believe the other important part of this lifestyle is about decluttering the immaterial things. The feelings, memories, ideas, the habits and traits that do not serve us any purpose. So in as much as we spend so much time decluttering the things we can see, it is essential to spend time doing the same to those immaterial things we hoard in our hearts and minds.