Sometimes I imagine my life as a trailer. You know, as if a preview of a film I've never seen before were in front of my eyes. I even like to think that the music would be provided by Radiohead. I'm not going to lie to you, maybe writing this post in the wee hours of the morning has something to do with my tendency towards nostalgia. But beyond the seduction of memories and the past (idealised to the max), it is no less important to highlight that there is no one on this planet who is capable of escaping from loneliness... Sooner or later you are going to have to face it, and you will have to make decisions...
Certainly, I don't mean to threaten or scare you. But I would be lying if I didn't tell you this... We have a highly altered perception of knowing ourselves. We have systematically denied the ability to be able to relate to, explore and know ourselves. It is partly for this reason that when we are faced with situations or experiences that demand our control and emotional intelligence, we simply don't know what to do. You see, I'll be honest with you....
My mother is a woman who reflects very well the opposite of what I am trying to say here. That is to say, she has always done everything in her power to be alone. And this is not an exaggeration by any stretch of the imagination. She sleeps with the door open all the time, no matter the time of year or the temperature. Until my daughter turned 5, she slept next to her every night, and never in my 32 years did I see her being absolutely alone for 24 hours..... Is she incapable or a monster? Obviously not. But I grew up ‘looking’ at myself in that mirror, and for many years I was ‘infected’ with the same fear as she was....
That's how I spent years of my life... Tolerating and pretending about things and issues that no halfway logical human being would tolerate. Certainly, sometimes less is more... Or better still, the least you should do for yourself, is related to the beginning of the change your life requires (if that is your goal). Going back to the horror of loneliness... What can I tell you? It is impossible to run away from it. Even if you are a lover of minimalism, or have been inspired by this philosophy, the first and longest battle you will have will be to make peace with loneliness. Understand it, study it, love it, know it. I doubt that there is a worse monster out there, than the one we usually inhabit inside each of us... And the pictures in this post, what do they mean? Well, they are moments in every afternoon of the 12 days of the year; in solitude and in harmony. Less is more.
Our life is what we choose to make of it. .... For this reason, we must learn to deal with our conflicts and recognise when we imitate behaviours or actions that simply make us worse. Again, what I have learned is personal and in no way is it a coaching or brainwashing form.... Believe me, you will eventually come across moments where you will have to fend for yourself. Mainly mentally and philosophically. Deciding, thinking, acting, are actions that all of us have but are very much linked to how you understand loneliness. It does not do much good to demonise a state that is natural to all of us, not to exalt it as if it were an achievement. But the key lies in the balance and the interest you have in evolving. I am no better than you at anything, but I write to you from my heart using my mind.
