Imposing my belief on people is one thing I don't enjoy doing and instead of getting into arguments, I try to make people see things from my perspective. Of course, I can't be right always but some situations only need a simple explanation to make people get your point and I try as much as possible to walk away when a simple explanation leads to an argument.
With my little time on earth, I have learned that whatever doesn't align with what a particular person or group of people believe in is usually tagged as what's wrong and these things have made it difficult for some humans to differentiate between what's right and wrong. Instead of proving a point about what is wrong or right, the majority of us just stick to our beliefs which isn't a bad decision. My minimalist lifestyle has been questioned severally and sometimes, I get tired of trying to make people see the good about the lifestyle I have chosen.
Some time ago, I had a group of friends who were just colleagues initially. I felt like we had common goals which was working on becoming financially stable so I didn't hesitate to associate with them. We were right on track at the beginning and I felt happy because I find group work or goals not just interesting but inspiring as well.
Along the line, a few of them started bringing some ideas that have to do with having fun as a group. I don't dispute the fact that all work and no play makes Jack but I didn't sign up for what they agreed on doing.
Different suggestions were made about us having fun and in the end, they concluded on one person footing the bills of the group every Friday wherever we had fun. It was a big deal for a guy like me who had lots of responsibility on him and moreover, there are lots of fun activities we can engage in other than eating and alcohol. I wanted to see how things would go so I went with them on the first Friday and wasn't surprised.
We arrived at this restaurant in Ikeja and I knew immediately that we were making a huge mistake. Throughout the time spent there, I took a can of malt and table water but my friend did otherwise which got me thinking of we were earning the same salary. The person responsible for the bills that Friday paid a huge sum for the food and drinks which was about half our salary.
On my way back home that day, I made up my mind about not going with them anymore. I didn't tell anyone until it was another Friday and when I told them, they started acting funny. They murmured and probably didn't take it personally because they thought I might change my mind later but that didn't happen.
Two weeks after I stopped going out with them, they treated me like a stranger which I didn't bother to ask why. One of them eventually stepped up to challenge me asking if I think I am righteous. I didn't pick a quarrel with him because they didn't know a lot of things about me aside from just my determination to be financially stable. I made it clear that I wasn't financially fit for what our friendship was demanding.
You are stingy I heard this several times from them but it didn't bother me because I know that's not true. I might not have the money to squander in the name of fun but I wouldn't deprive myself of the things I truly needed.
They created a new WhatsApp group and I wasn't added. They discussed important issues there and only joke on the old platform, I really wanted to make them see the truth but I didn't want to be pitied. I didn't want them to think I couldn't become financially stable without them so I just let them be, we moved from being friends to total strangers.
Among these friends, some are not fit for what they have gotten into be they want to be accepted and can't say no.
There are times I thought I might be too rigid with myself but when I look at things again, Spending recklessly isn't just my thing. I am not financially buoyant yet and even if I am, spending recklessly isn't my lifestyle. I know how tough it is to earn, I know what's ahead of me and I must only spend my money wisely.
Whenever irrelevant impromptu spending comes up, I tell people that I have my finances planned and they find that very annoying. I won't do more than what I am capable of and there is no going back with this lifestyle.
It's easier for people to say dirty things about you when you don't want to be part of what they are doing and it's left to us to stand on what we belief in. If you bow to their pressure, it would end with regret and these same people will eventually laugh at you for trying to live above your means.
All images were captured by me.