Growing up I didn't get to feel that parental love not because I don't have my parents but because they weren't together, I felt a one sided love and I'll take you through the journey of how I managed to come out strong.
Years back after my primary education in my community, I had to leave my mum to go stay with my dad in the city where I'll have to further my education, during my stay with my dad I felt something extremely different.
MUM AND I: When I was with my mum, I don't usually play with my friends as I have duties to carry out, I go to school in the morning and come back by 12-1pm daily and immediately after lunch I had to go hawk some stuffs for her(I had to go sell) sometimes I return before 8pm and other times I exceeded that time giving me less time to relate and communicate with other children around my environment.
She doesn't give the one on one model and child conversation as it's always been work and school, along the line I became tired of it and wanted to leave so badly so after my last exam I was given an option to choose between my mum and dad who am to spend time with for my next educational phase and I picked dad.
DAD AND I: During my stay with my dad everything felt different, I woke up early to prepare for school and after my registration was done I was given some cash to get snacks while we head home, at home I told my dad I was going out to play and he didn't even say a thing aside be careful and don't injure yourself and so I left the house to play outside with some kids.
Few years later, I turned 17 and my dad called and said he wants us to communicate like friends that I've passed the stage of being a son even though I am, he said he'd love to know if I have any personal struggles and I told him I needed my full family together, I needed my mum and siblings to be around with us.
GROWING UP: During my secondary education I got a job and started working while schooling, along the line dad's salary was reduced and some persons were dropped from the company I had to support him with what I could, since I was already close to finishing my secondary education I had to quit it and hustle to help my dad, mum and siblings.
I worked and supported in my little way and along the line I started getting frustrated with the way things are going, I knew dad was already going through hell but I kept holding on cause I had to, I had a thought in my head telling me if that gives up am next in line for that role and I wouldn't want my brothers to loose it so I left my family at the age of 19 to hustle harder.
During my time hustling I faced a lot of challenges but kept moving till one day a senior friend called me and told me to let go of all am going through, he said I should just free my mind and allow things to happen and if I can leave the environment totally I should do a give myself time which I did and is helping me.
Sometimes in life we just have to give ourselves a break, we need to give ourselves space from the rest of the world, from the people we love and focus on ourselves.
Mental health care is one the most important thing, sometime all we need to space to read, listen to cool music's and watch movies, your bills ain't running but your life is and if you die no one will take care your family or I guess they will but don't die.
My obligations is to take care of my family and the best way to doing that without harming my mental health is to be far from them. I owe my family everything and the best way to give them what I owe them is to be alive.
I hope y'all struggling one way or another finds peace like I did and know that resting a bit or taking a time off is not same thing as giving up but rather will give you time to think and plan your next move.
Thank you for reading through.