The holidays can be a very polarizing time, especially for those who, like me, aren't strict minimalists. How much to spend, what to buy, how far to go to "prove" your affection to somebody...these are questions that, under the tutelage of a rigidly consumerist culture can rapidly spiral out of control.
Of course, how much you spend on Christmas doesn't (nor should ever) equate your love for somebody.
But as I say, partly through corporate propaganda, and partly through my own tendencies (I adore gift giving), Christmas has a way of growing out of hand. And keen on keeping it in hand this year, I started coming up with ideas.
Are pre-loved clothes a trashy gift?
I know people who'd think so. Personally, I love second-hand stores. I was just in one yesterday, looking for jeans. I may yet return for some sports outfits (which, frankly, aren't worth the insane shopping mall prices). And while I was there, I did notice a few lovely, cute tops and outfits. I didn't buy them, because I'm not really in the market for T-shirts at the moment, and thought why crowd my wardrobe?
However, for many people, Christmas also means a little needless frivolity. Getting someone a shirt not because they need it, but because it's cute, that kinda thing. Personally, I think it's a forgivable indulgence. But it got me thinking. While second-hand shopping may be all good and well the rest of the year, I know a lot of people who'd shy away from turning up with a pre-owned gift for fear of appearing cheap or even insulting.
I got to thinking...is it insulting?
I don't see why. If the item is washed, non-intimate (obviously), and appears in good condition...why not? And if you're buying someone a shirt just as a stocking filler, why the upturned nose? After all, you've a much higher chance of finding something unique and cool in a thrift store than in H&M.
A lot of people consider price tags. The shirts I found in the thrift store were around $3.50. A shirt in H&M is at least $15. In other words, it's insulting to the person that you'd skimp out $12 on their gift. But...is it? Why? If you buy the same shirt, sure, maybe. But what if you find something way cooler? Should you pass on it just because it's pre-owned, and you don't wanna appear cheap?
Seems to me, if you're worried about your friends thinking that, then maybe you should be shopping for new friends.
Books are meant to be passed forward.
This is a problem I've heard a lot of minimalists struggle with -- once you've read it, what are you meant to do with the thing? Personally, I'm a hoarder, I love stacking paperbacks, but many people just don't want to deal with the space-waste, so they donate or sell them to second-hand bookstores.
(Needless to say I love those tenfold.)
I went to several SH bookstores the other night as well. I was actually really happy, 'cause I found a book I'd been looking for as a gift for my brother. Again, it brought the question to mind...is it insulting to present someone with a pre-owned book?
I don't think so. Again, good condition should mean good to go. As a serial book lover, I'm not too keen on these showy books that you stack on your shelf and never read. People who want a fancy-looking book typically care more about what it looks like on their shelf, than what it actually contains. And I don't think you should be friends with people like that.
Couple years ago, I bought all my family books from one of these second-hand bookstores for Christmas. In excellent condition. Because people like me weren't allowed in the big expensive chain bookstores. If it was a good gift then, I reckon it's a good gift now.
Again, price tag comes into question. For this particular one I got, it was a Romanian author (which tend to go for half the price of foreign authors for some reason), and I paid only a dollar or so less than the bookstore price. Obviously, not true in all cases. You can find wonderful discounts that ought to strum the heartstrings of any true bookworm. After all, what matters is inside. Access to the book's content, surely, not that the gift-giver shopped at the fancy-people bookstore downtown...right?
If you're gonna buy something, make it local.
I like knowing that I give something that you can't just walk into the next mall and buy for yourself. So over the past few years, and this one, most of all, I've been paying more mind to independent, local brands. Handmade stuff, ideally, because that way, you're getting someone something unique and supporting an artist.
I have a friend who makes scented candles (less toxic-y than the storebought ones) in coconut shells. They're gorgeous, indie business, and have a smaller risk of giving you cancer, what's there not to love? Best of all, as a gift-giver, I know the person I gave it to wouldn't be able to replicate it (at least, not without some effort). And I love that.
Buying indie stuff isn't that easy, at least not here. Maybe you have to order the stuff. Maybe the vendor, like my friend, only sells their products at specific fairs, so you gotta scout out the time and place. You know, you really gotta work for the gift, and I love that.
Could you go into the nearest sore and buy a similar-smelling candle, face cream, soap or whatever else? Sure, probably. But that's just it. Anyone could. It shows the person you gave their gift a whole five minutes' worth of consideration, and that's including the time you spent fumbling in your pocket for the keys. Bleh.
At the end of the day, what are you saying?
A Christmas gift is, to me, an excuse to gift someone you love something you know they need/really want, but wouldn't really get for themselves/can't afford to, etc. It's also, more generally speaking, an occasion to show your appreciation for someone in your life. A way to say thank you for existing, here's something nice.
It's not... a competition. It's not...wallet weighing. It's not...something to check off your to-do list.
Sometimes, we'll rush into the nearest Sephora and buy some cutesy, meaningless shit to fill a gift-bag. And that's for the people who matter to us. But we may not get so many Christmases with them. Even if we were born on the same day, and we both live to 100, that's still not very many. Are you really gonna waste one with some meaningless crap?
Obviously, Christmas is about more than just gifting. It's about love, quality time, etc. Food. Can't forget food. :D And obviously, those too count towards not wasting it. But if you're gonna say something with your Christmas gift, then put some thought into it, not just your credit card.
