Peer pressure which is a direct or an indirect persuasion by our peers to do something, is an inevitable challenge for every individual. We all had at one point in time faced some pressures by our peers to act in a certain way, dress a certain way, want to acquire a certain gadget or even think a certain way.
Our peers here refer to; friends, schoolmates, or members of a social group
The issue of peer pressure is normal in every human being and every society, but it is most prevalent amongst teenagers and children as they're very susceptible to it. Children and teenagers are easily swayed by trends. At their age, they get newly aware of their environment and want to explore. They crave for the feeling of belongingness. Theyy want to be accepted. They want to be liked by others. They want to be "cool".
Their strong desire to be cool and liked by others especially their peers make them try to conform to trends and to the lifestyle of their friends
In a bid to seem trendy and cool and to be liked by their , they want to acquire the latest and most modern gadgets/electronic devices, clothes and every other trending item.
This strong desire to always acquire and accumulate the latest stuffs make them insatiable, discontent and ultimately rids them of the virtue of gratitude for the things they already have .
A wise word written in the great book of the Bible says "contentment is the evidence of a grateful heart" and so it is very important that as minimalists, we try to help our Children become contented and grateful for what they have at the moment, thus help them overcome peer pressure.
Gratitude is a value and can be instilled in children. Gratitude would make them love and value what they have and not strive for what they see others possess. It would make them resistant to the pressures of their peers to always want to acquire the latest stuffs even though they don't need them
To instill this value of gratitude and help them become contented with what they have, we could employ the following practices ;
Always visit the orpnanages and the less privileged People with your children have your children give them some of their stuffs:
Source
Take the children to orphanage homes and places where less privileged People stay and have them see that they are privileged to have the things they have. Make them also understand that a lot of people are praying for what they already have now and could do anything to be in their position.
Also encourage them to share their stuffs. Have them give some of their stuffs to the poor and less privileged poor and let them witness how happy these ones are to receive these gifts. This will help them become more grateful.
From their tender age always talk to them about the importance of gratitude and contentment, and how new stuffs would always be produced but gratitude and contentment is the real source of happiness because people cannot always get what they want. ;
Talking to children from a very tender age really works. Although they may not really understand very well what you're saying, but as time goes on they will understand, and the ideas and values you've put in them would have sinked deep and would be firm. It would therefore be hard for them to be swayed and moved by the pressures of there friends because they know better.
Tell them about what peer pressure is. About it's positive and also sometimes misleading effects:
source
This is another way of making them aware and getting ready for the times when they'll face some pressures by their peers.
Telling them about those times would make them have a grip over themselves and would make them see things differently.
Help them discover cool things about themselves like their talents and gifts. Help them develop these talents and use them well.
Children give in to peer pressure because the want to be liked by others, they're trying to find some sort of validation and want to seem cool.
Helping them discover, develop and exploit their talents would make People love, commend and appreciate them for who they are and what they do by and for themselves. People like to associate with success and so a lot of people even children their ages would really love to hang out with them and this would give them a sense of relevance and selfworth. They'll become hard to be swayed by their peers.
Sometimes Tease them about how you think that they can be easily moved and controlled by trends, new stuffs and what their peers do. And how you don't know if they're matured and strong-willed enough to make rational decisions and stand their ground on issues.
Yes, this also works on their psyche/mind too. Even children and teenagers wants to be respected and thought of as matured and responsible. By teasing or telling them such statements jokingly, you subtly make them understand that maturity is being able to make rational decisions, and hold unto them, and not being moved by trends or pressure from their peers to acquire stuffs or do their bidding.
Also praise them when they make good and rational decisions. Tell them that you're impressed that they think very rationally and have a mind of their own. Tell them that you're happy they want to acquire things they need, not because everyone is having them.
Learn to show gratitude, Celebrate little wins and Live By Example :
source
As a parent, older sibling or guardian, you should live by example, don't be materialistic if you don't want your children to be like that. Don't show attitudes of ingratitude and discontentment and expect them not to be like that also. Be grateful for the little you have too, don't always go about getting the latest stuffs that you do not need just because they're trending.
Celebrate little wins, whether it be a small car you bought, or some small project the kids did or little awards they were given. Anything at all. Just learn to be happy for it and celebrate it. Talk about it and tell other members of the family about it too.
Your children learn from this and it helps them see even the littlest things as important and valuable. It helps them to be grateful and value what they have and not look to get every new thing out there.
Also learn to say thank you to people. If you guys believe in God and pray together as a family. Learn to also say thanks to God in your family prayers for the things you people have now and your little wins. All this adds to how they would value and be grateful for what they have. They more they see how value and show gratitude for small things, the more this value called gratitude is instilled in them.
Support and advocate for positive influence :
source
This is another very important point.
We know that actions speaks louder than words, but as much as we try to talk to our children and encourage them to make the right decisions, be themselves and not always follow the flow. It is also important that we find other sources of media that can positively influence our child's mind.
So, be a strong fan of celebrities and social influencers that advocate and inspire People to be themselves, standout, love themselves and be proud of not going with the flow. Your children tends to follow who you follow. Parents are children's first role models and super-hero.
As much as you talk about these issues with your children, it is also good that they hear it from some other sources. This will go a long way in strengthening their resolve not to yield to negative peer pressure.
Show them great love and trust:
source
Finally make your children understand that you really love them. sometimes do crazy and amazing stuffs for them. Sometimes you can gift them with expensive and latest stuffs, you can also grant them favours that they do not merit.
Make them understand that you are doing so because you love them and want the best for them. Make them understand that they won't always get the latest stuffs or the kind of gadgets they want but they should be contented and show gratitude for what they have.
Tell them that you trust that they are matured and responsible, and you know that they wouldn't let you down by being swayed by trends or conforming to negative peer pressures.
Passing such vote of confidence in them gives them a sense of responsibility and maturity. It makes them think critically before making a decision as they wouldn't want to let you down or allow you think that they're not responsible enough. Trust and love is a powerful tool to keep a child focused and resilient.