Back in 2019

_{Written in 2019 and re-released with an edit or two but hardly anything has changed, really ^😊}
 

I watched a documentary on the Fyre Festival some time ago and this post is the result of that eye-opening evening.

I sat there with my mouth hanging “O”pen in shock, for the good majority of it, and with a good majority of shock and dismay for the remainder of it. It's so worth watching to observe the behaviour of the main organisers alone.

The proverbial rock ‘n roll lifestyle and the coming into money too fast and too young, dumb and full o' cum.

Their treatment of the models, that they hired for the promo, and the general lack of concern for the numerous human beings they fucked over during this travesty is mind blowing.

Party like a rock star?

Looks like there were copious amounts of a variety of things being consumed and there was much partying like rock stars going on for the majority of the time. They look like they had a total blast until they sobered up and realised that they weren’t actually going to pull off the event.

I guess nobody remembered to answer emails or make reservations.

Or to organise an event.

Talk about a come down.

I have tons to say about the modelling industry. ^{of course}

I’m not very keen on it to say the least. The fact that a someone can be famous, wealthy and successful merely because they're pretty…

or how about the fact that the industry generally promotes consumerism, false idols, dishonesty and greed. I was a model for a bit when I was around 12 years old. I even did a cover but, I hate cameras, being in the spotlight and a photographer felt me up.

I have more to say… still… about the “influencers” on social media using their status to sell fraudulent packages for the event while getting kickbacks.

About the bordering on genius, but completely dishonest marketing campaign that these guys pulled off by playing into peoples’ insecurities and dissatisfaction with the humdrum of their daily existence.

About social media – the pros and the cons again – because the public that was initially duped and fleeced turned on both the organisers and the “influencers” in the end. Angry peasants. Let us eat cake, but… Power to the People when we get ourselves together.

There's a scene where the caterer hired for the non-event explains that, although the people who lived in that particular area of the Bahamas were a bit taken aback by what the organisers were offering and promising to do for them and the area, they figured said organisers, “Could do anything that they wanted to because they had enough money.”

That pretty much says it all.

If you have enough money you can do wtf you like?

Apparently so.

Because look.

The same caterer is seen sharing about how the failure of the festival affected her personally a bit further on.

She lost her life savings because she was decent enough to personally cover some of her employees, regardless of her never being paid for the job.

I actually wept a bit at that point.

I'd love to have enough money to never have to think about the stuff again.

I've spent most of my adult life putting my dreams on hold to provide stability for my kids. I've always put myself last. It was my duty as a parent, as I saw it. That's my mistake.

I should've had more confidence in my children’s resilience and given less of a toss about society’s supposed norms and expectations, or enabling less responsible parents - another post entirely because gender-bias and we need to talk about this, please.

I’m anti establishment, non-binary, gender fluid, don’t buy into gender stereo-types (or any stereo-types for that matter), half a conspiracy theorist (because anything is possible, really) and somewhat revolutionary by nature.

And I’m highly sensitive and struggle with the injustice and cruelty of the world which makes me really, really anxious and really, really sad some times.

I forget to eat.

I refuse to eat.

Often I can’t sleep.

I used to take substances to hide from my feelings and think that this would help. I chose abusive relationships over gentle, intimate ones because I confused adrenalin fuelled toxic drama and lust with love.

I’m terrified people won’t approve of me a lot of the time and that they won’t believe me the rest of the time.

I hurt myself in various ways – from simple, bad for me, everyday health choices to actually sabotaging and fucking up any chance of success and happiness a lot of the time.

I'm awful at communicating – often – and I have a terrifying temper when I finally do lose my shit.

In short… I have a lot to learn and, hopefully, always will. Come the day I think that I know everything, please just lay me down.

But the worst of it is that I have wasted good years of my life taking other people’s opinions and judgment of me as truth and this has held me back, in so very many ways, and it has made me bitter and resentful in others.

Suspicious and jaded continually and, ultimately… it has made me so fearful of change that it has resulted in me discarding both myself and my dreams.

No more of that.

Money.

It isn’t that I don’t like money.

I love having money, on the few odd days I have it before the debit orders come off. Who wouldn’t?

No, it's not that I don’t like money.

It's more that I don’t like what it does to people.

I don’t like the way that it seems to buy respect and validation, or how it seems to define “success” and how people aspire to live some kind of rock star lifestyle and achieve “the dream” without considering the impact that this thinking is having on the youth and the planet.

And mostly, how too much money enables anti-social and downright destructive behaviour.

To truly evolve, at this point, I think we need to entirely redefine success.

You may say I’m a dreamer… but I’m not the only one.

 
"You may say I'm a dreamer
but I'm not the only one."
_{- John Lennon}

This post is a slightly edited part of the blog I was writing, back in 2019, when I launched "The Perfect Campaign"... a.k.a UR already Perfect.

Huh...

At least I'm consistent! ^😆

I took the website down, back then, because time and costs. And also the unfolding chaos that made it unsafe to keep sharing openly online. Ah... there was also that email from the court to say "Take the blog down". ^{Outrageous! #freespeech}

I didn't right then because... ^{Outrageous! #freespeech}

But I did take the more social awareness based posts down when I decided not to pursue UR already Perfect any longer. I was plumb tuckered out by humanity eventually, you see. But I seem to keep returning to it somehow.

And here's the thing...

I no longer suffer from all those things listed up above there after standing my ground and continuing to share my truth over these last years.

Isn't that interesting?

_{It's about freedom}

Eternal Seeker
Hardened Dreamer
Mother
Peaceful Warrior
Determined Dancer
and Stargazer

still...

Beyond fear is freedom

And there is nothing to be afraid of.

_{To Life, with Love... and always for Truth!
Nicky Dee}

_{www.mettame.art}

_{Featured image snapped from the Perception website.
Photo editing done with GIMP.}