April 2023
Probably the biggest thing I've "laid down" and no, it wasn't a crazy ex has been my sense of "shame".
This has to go if you really want to travel light.
I'm going to keep it short and sweet for a change because I'm busy decompressing right now and it's fabulous!
Also... I don't think we realise, sometimes, just how tired we are until we stop to rest. And finally...
the sensation of "running, running" that I've been trying to out run...
has actually stopped!
*sigh 😊
And I'm going to savour the moment.
Because nothing is permanent.
Of course.
But shame?
Not good.
Just popped in to say lay that burden down right now, please.
There's a difference between shame and guilt, you know.
I feel guilty when I've made a mistake, wish I hadn't and may want to not do that again. Hey... we all f*ck up so no big deal, right? Really. None whatsoever. It's often how I've learned to not make a particular mistake again. Fast!
Quite useful, actually.
Often entirely necessary.
If not always entirely necessary.
So... it goes to follow that...
if f*ckups are an almost always necessary part of learning for me, maybe I should even embrace them.
Perhaps I should even celebrate them a bit. Laugh at them a lot. And move on quickly, accepting myself as the beautifully messy human I am.
Dontcha think?
Guilt is fine then. It's helpful for stopping for a bit, re-evaluating things and making relevant changes. Awesome. Got it!👍
But shame?
Oh no. 🙁
Shame is no good at all!
The difference between guilt and shame, in psychological theory, is that guilt makes us feel as though we've done something wrong behaviour...
while shame makes us feel as though there is something wrong with us.
And shame is a primary symptom of trauma, you know.
So if anybody feels "shame" when they f*ckup, they may want to address that. This "feeling" isn't good for a peaceful life at all. Or for any kind of authentic personal growth and progress.
"Feeling" ashamed of oneself generally means that someone, or something, sometime...
told a person that they're "bad". Or "wrong". Instead of the messy behaviour, right?
Or some such outrageous judgement, similar to the above, when a person didn't adjust themselves to fit in to summink (or someone) else's idea of "right" and "okay".
Which is not at all right or okay.
Okay?
So please lay that shame sh!t down as soon as all too humanly possible, would be my suggestion.
It's utter rubbish and not helpful at all for any kind of connection and progress.
Here's one of my favourite memes or whatever it's called when something becomes popular and folks jump on board to participate like this on Tik Tok.
Yes. I'm on Tik Tok.
Don't judge me. Or do. I don't carry that anymore either so...
I have a son who likes Tik Tok and, of course, I joined to stay connected.
Also... it's hilarious because humans being themselves a lot of the time. And we are funny. Whether we like it or not.
The aforementioned Tik Tok meme. Sorry, not sorry... some of it's a bit rough but... quite brilliant and hilarious. And so are we and so is life!
So yeah... please lay that shame stuff down because f🌼cking up is inevitable.
Trust me... I'm an expert... at fluffing*stolen from Tengolotodo up, that is.
It's all good.
And so are we.
p.s. Reminding you on #ThreeTuneTuesday, initiated by the busy working dad who keeps the tunes coming - 
And...
after a gazillion f🌼ckups...
on I go. To inevitably make more of 'em! 👣
Three Tunes to Travel Light for #ttt
The original tune that inspired the Tik Tok mania around South Africa.
Wendy does this one so well. Used to make me weep a liddle, every time. Very underrated South African musician!
Best for last... Yeah! 👇 but alcohol free for me, please 👍
Be happy! Stay you ❤️
But change the stuff that's holding you back from being your best you. Of course!
Coming soon... "Down at the Crossroads"
Eternal Seeker
Hardened Dreamer
Mother
Peaceful Warrior
Determined Dancer
and Stargazer
still...
Beyond fear is freedom
And there is nothing to be afraid of.
To Life, with Love... and always for Truth!
Nicky Dee
Images my own. Edited with GIMP