Three days ago, I and my friends purchased two different items. We purposely waited for some days, before purchasing the items because we didn’t want it to be an impulse buy that will leave us with regrets, and probably drain us financially. So, we chose to mull over it, before purchasing. After buying, she became worried, fretting over the dress’s design. I simply stared at her, not knowing what to tell her.
We’d seen the design beforehand, we had told the vendor we wanted the exact same thing, and we gave ourselves time to process it. So, why fret over the fact that there are other better styles for the event we had planned to wear the dresses to? Now, in that moment, while I stared at her, there was an oddly-familiar feeling because I’d experienced the exact same thing.
There was a time I used to cause myself distress, just by thinking. Before getting something I looked forward to, I would think about all the ways I could flaunt that thing. As I thought about that, there’d be a part of me that would constantly question if that item was meant for me. How would I look like owning that? What if it doesn’t fit me? Aren’t there better options? Gradually, these thought processes would clash, then I’d end up overwhelmed by it all, not wanting to get that thing again.
When I first began adopting minimalism, I remember having to always remind myself to stop dwelling on thoughts like these. However, since thoughts are linked to the subconscious, they aren’t so easy to control. I had to make conscious effort to pick apart beliefs and actions I had adopted over the years. Making sure the ones that remained, remained because they aligned with the new lifestyle.
Declutterring has to be my favorite part of minimalism. Letting go of junk thoughts, clearing my space, focusing on what I want, and making space for what’s to come. The result of all these makes minimalism so rewarding and satisfying. As a beginner, what helped me the most, was declutterring. If I caught myself entertaining a certain thought, I’d tell myself I wouldn’t think that way again. I would consciously trail every line of thought, second guessing everything I no longer wanted to align with. Gradually, I began to let go.
If your main goal as a minimalist, is attaining peace, what you need is to discipline yourself to an extent where specific people and items no longer hold the key to your happiness. It’s better to be at peace, smiling when you want to, than striving for a happiness that would leave you empty everytime it dissipates, just because you gave too much in return.
While my friend went through that phase, how much I’d changed became so glaring. Albeit unhealthy, that was once my specialty. I prioritized worry over everything, and that didn’t lead me anywhere. Now, I no longer find myself in distress over things that I could do better, by just accepting the way they are. Not everything will fit our expectations, so why fuss over what you can no longer change?
Thanks for reading.
Images are mine.