For a very long time, I have been intentional with my personal growth, i.e., defining the most important part of my life, making clear decisions, appreciating the smaller things, being grateful for life and learning to say 'No' even though this took me years to overcome.
It took people taking advantage of me, making me look like a fool, to learn my lesson because I was engrossed in pleasing them rather than doing what brings me peace. The way I felt when I decided to stop saying yes to everything even though it led to losing things and people, I felt a great relief from that point.
All of these didn't just happen. I didn't wake up one morning and make that decision. People and events inspired the whole thing, which has gladly changed my life, making me realise the true essence of life in a simpler way.
Growing up, I came from a family where life was not as smooth as I desired for us, though we were still being provided for. Looking back now, I would say life was different from now, and I'm glad for those who helped me get along with most of my decisions.
The environment we grew up in was a toxic one with unnecessary clutter, even in our home. There was no clarity, everything was just as they were.
First, it was my aunt. She was my inspiration since I was a young girl. I have watched her silently and secretly how she lived a simple, yet content life, the definition of a life with no rush. Imagine visiting a home and you notice the calmness and how organised everywhere was.
For many rich people I have met and entered their homes, you will see lots of stuff that has occupied everywhere that most times you won't be able to breathe, but for her, it was different.
She valued her mental space, especially for her two sons who were still very little then. There was enough space that you didn't have to drag your feet to move around.
I know her to be generous with her items. Many times I have watched her give a lot of things to people, including siblings, and myself. She taught me the value of freeing one's space, living a focused life, and learning to be committed to the important things rather than the unnecessary ones.
You can never see any cluttered space, need not mention the fresh air that flows through each room with nice scents. I have never seen her spending lavishly, and even when she needs to give, it is with intentionality.
"I want to be like her." This was something I had always said countless times, and she made me realise that being able to afford things does not mean you should go ahead to spend recklessly, but with wisdom.
Today, my life is so simple that taking that decision to be like her in living mindfully has earned me peace of mind, making the right decisions on matters around my lifestyle, getting rid of excess belongings to create more physical and mental space, and particularly, reducing the mental burden of managing stuff.
Another inspiration was from feeling unnecessarily overwhelmed. I'm a person who values rest - no rush. When I see people juggle too much work with endless commitments and no time for relaxation, seeing the outcome on them, I need not live such a life. I am not criticising anyone here but sometimes, I just do not want to exert my energy, especially where I know my capacity. Of course, I know everyone is different and what one can do, another cannot. That's me.
This doesn't make me lazy but I don't want to be too stressed and start getting sick every time. Right from the time, I have always desired a life where I don't want to expend too much energy. I want a free life if possible (just kidding). Even if I have little for each day, it's enough for me rather than chasing after different things that won't make sense at the end of the day.
I don't want to live on autopilot where I wouldn't achieve fulfilment. Living a simple life for me is to have peace, take rest when I need to, be content and still be able to do what brings me joy.
At the end of the day, the goal is what truly matters and nothing else. Trust me, I may not have everything yet but I am satisfied with my life. Just taking my life one step at a time each day and being grateful to embrace everything I have as a gift.
Images are my sister's
