I've done my time in the fast lane, rushing from here to there. Becoming so impatient, that I found myself standing in line, muttering under my breath, as I watched the cashier and the customer chatting, for far too long. Didn't they know, that I had somewhere to be, that my time was being wasted. I was on Holiday in Rio De Janerio and I had taken my fast paced life with me. But luckily in that moment, I realized how unjustified my irritation was and how much living in a city (London)had changed me. Changed me into someone I didn't want to be.
I didn't want to watch my life past me by, being irritated and stressed out. I was meant to be on holiday, enjoying myself, not being judgmental and impatient. So I took a deep breath and decided there and then, that something had to change. That I had to change, that I had to slow down. That I had to step out of the fast lane.
I returned to London after that, to the same life, only this time I knew what I had to do, I was determined to live the life, that I knew was best for me. The one that had always called to me. I did not belong in the city, I had always felt like a fish out of water, living there. But I am forever grateful for the wonderful experiences that I did have, ones that really helped to shape me, into who I am today. Life is uncomfortable at times, it's important that we get out of our comfort zone from time to time.
When you slow down, you create more space to experience life itself. You create more time to feel.
And feeling, can really feckin hurt, but it is essential if we want to be healthy. When you choose to live in the fast lane, you can easily bury your feelings, your emotions. Because there simply is no time and you don't prioritize them, you don't prioritize yourself. Instead you get distracted, by all the commotion, by the material things that are paraded in front of you, by the constant advertising.
Why feel, when you can buy your way to happiness, after all there is a pill to fix everything these days, so one doesn't actually have to feel anything at all. Just motivated to buy, to consume, to follow. That's what was clear as day to me and that was what I knew I needed to get away from. Because deep down I always desired a simpler life. A life that is so full, of many wonderful experiences, wonderful interactions.
Taking the time to be with people, to greet them, to see and hear them. Slowing down, so that I can experience life. Rel living, the living that matters the most, in my eyes anyway.
We make decisions, everyday. But what fuels those decisions, are we following the advice of another, or are we following our own desires. Are we listening to ourselves. Because in order to do that you really have to slow down. I still get stressed out at times, because life will always be overwhelming at times, but when it is, I know what I need to do. I know where I need to go, in order to move past it. But first, always first is taking a deep breath and allowing yourself to feel.
