There are many things that I have learnt in my time here on this wonderful planet. Many lessons I have learnt and many things that have shaped me, into who I am today. Many of which were hard lessons, painful ones, that had me crumble at times. Times when I felt like I could just give up, because life felt too hard. It still does feel hard at times. Walking this path that I have carved out. I think that's how it is, especially when you chose to take the path less travelled.
But then, on the other side, the joy, the magic, the gifts, they are immense. But that is why I live as I do. Connected more to nature, to the elements, to myself. I feel it all, because I want to. I call it in, because it is what being alive is all about, for me anyhow. I really can only speak for myself, for my wishes, my journey, my pain and the beauty that sits within it.
I cannot stop the pain, but I can chose how I greet it, how I sit with it, how to really surrender to it. Life feckin hurts at times, with all it's challenges and the suffering that follows a long. Surrendering to it, is the only way that you can get through it. Understanding our strength, how powerful we are, how much we can actually carry, as long as we learn to let go.
The carrying, is only for as long a time, as you need to sit with it, embrace it, listen to it, honour it and let it go. Learn to let your pain go. But first it has flow through us. We block so much in our life, because of the fear we hold, the fear that it is all too much. Too much to bare, that is the sign that we need to just let go. It is an ongoing lesson for me, learning to let go of My Self Doubt, that stops me from being more creative in life.
For the last few years, I have been talking about and writing about a dance project that I have been creating, manifesting, dreaming. I dream it, I write it, I talk about it and when the offers come in of a space in which to hold it. I block it. I talk myself down, because who am I, to think that i could do such a thing, that people would actually be interested in. Yet when I talk to people about it, they all are and they encourage me. But still I find a way to stall. Allowing my self doubt to win.
So I let go of this deep rooted self doubt that weights heavy on me, I let it go and grab my dream, my vision, my project with both hands and walk with my head held high, as I birth it this coming calendar year, as I offer it to my community and allow it to complete it's creation.
This is my response to the latest question from The Minimalist Community, as part of their Kiss initiative.
I had to include the following song, which I feel sums up what I have written about and also it is what first came to my mind, when I read the question.
'I release control' by Alexa Sunhine Rose
I release control and surrender to the flow,
of love that will heal me.
